best-shower-thoughts

Your daily dose of the BEST shower thoughts!
   

People always wish ancient people made lasting notes on how they lived, yet not many bother to make notes on their own lives for future generations (source)

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Bombs not only have the ability to close an orphanage, but also open one. (source)

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When you think about it, a thermometer is a speedometer for an atom. (source)

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“Never odd or even” is the same when said backwards. (source)

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People are dismissed as having an overactive imagination when dreaming up of new worlds and fictional stories, until they get rich and famous, then they are described as “visionary storytellers and world builders” (source)

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Uncle bankrupts his previous employer.

prorevenge:

Not sure if this is petty or pro or whatever. You be the judge.

My uncle is an Indian doctor. In the 90s there was a massive doctors shortage in Australia so the government gave him citizenship. Unfortunately you still had to sit 3 expensive exams to work as a doctor in Australia. These exams cost thousands of dollars, only happened twice a year, had limited sitting spots/times and had arbitrary pass/fail marks. So many Indian doctors ended up becoming taxi drivers/small businessmen etc. My uncle decided instead he would reapply and go through Australian medical school. Sure enough being a doctor for 10+years makes medical school easy and my uncle was top of his class.

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If two high school sweethearts stay together their entire lives, and everyone else from their graduating class eventually dies, then every day after that is a technically a class reunion. (source)

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Scar and Mufasa’s parents named one kid after the African word for king, and the other after a growth of skin, and everyone is surprised Scar grew up to be an asshole. (source)

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People play the lottery thinking they can actually win, but the same people don’t go out thinking they might get hit by a meteorite or a lightning strike, which is actually way more probable than winning the jackpot. (source)

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Rubbing the clitoris is literally smashing that Like Button (source)

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You’re in the third pocket of your pants. (source)

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A five year old will look at a 25 year old and think they are old and wise. A 25 year old will look at a 60 year old and think “shit, that’s not too far away.” (source)

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Since death is inevitable, everything and everyone we touch dies. (source)

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Rappers make song about how rich and famous they are, just so they can make more songs about how rich and famous they are. (source)

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France was still using the guillotine when the first star wars movie came out (source)

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Puberty is your body installing new hardware so that it can run human reproduction software effectively. (source)

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Block my promotion? You silly silly man!

prorevenge:

Warning: Long story

This was a few years ago. I got a job in a cinema, I was 4 or 5 years older than most of my co-workers whom it was most of their first jobs. Having had a couple of jobs previous and a few years of maturity under my belt, I quickly became a very valued employee, so much so, I was given a promotion to Supervisor within 6 months.

The general manager loved me. I was a Swiss army knife. I would take care of projection duties when the projection manager was at our other sites. I dealt with the busy periods very calmly and was able to diffuse potential situations into getting worse. I was very good at my job. I would be “in charge” of the building when whatever manager was there had to step out.

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A sonogram is your first nude (source)

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The sound of rain is incredibly calming but a single tap dripping is maddening (source)

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