Media and fandoms be like:
Men: can do awful things and show no remorse and actively take pleasure in hurting people- *give a sad backstory and all is forgiven*
Women: can be an abuse victim trapped in a cycle of trauma and abuse, do terrible things because of this cycle, but show regret, remorse, and capability of growing and changing despite their bad actions- terrible, toxic, cancelled, unforgivable
something that I love about when Beau tells Nott about her crush on Jester is that when Nott asks Beau why, Beau give a bunch of reasons. But none of them are oh she’s hot, like Beau does think Jester’s gorgeous and beautiful and likes her head where it is, but that’s why she’s attracted to Jester, not why she has a real freaking crush on her. She says it’s because Jester is fun, that she makes her laugh, her ridiculous plans, that she’s complicated and has layers.
Beau is attracted to hot women, or strong women, or women in general, but she fell for jester because of who jester is at her core. I’m sure she thinks jesters hot and likes her muscles but it was jester who is silly and energetic and smiling that she fell for and I think that’s beautiful
Me: *ships two characters of the same sex with a lot of chemistry, an interesting history and so much unresolved sexual tension*
Straight Person: Omg, they are just friends, calm down, stop making everything gay!
Also Straight Person, about two characters of opposite sexes: Wow, they looked at each other! The show is setting them up! They’re going to be the next big couple!
And they are fucking right!
also, im going to point out how much i like that yang is the one to question ruby on her decision. i think people get too comfy in the mindset that yang blindly follows ruby, and she’s the perfect one to doubt that decision without being a) completely against it and b) aggressive or guilt-tripping towards ruby. it was perfect for her character because she’s doing what she does best; trying to make sure everyone in the group is sound and taken care of. she makes sure ruby’s open with why she felt she needed to keep things from ironwood, she brings in oscar’s wellbeing (“and how did oscar feel about that?”) and she does it in a way that doesn’t paint ruby as a bad guy but makes her think critically about her decision, especially since at first she’s a bit defensive - “what about it?”. yang’s not assuming that they’re all on the same page, in a way that might be causing the tension in team jnr.
basically, it’s nice that they’re showing her being the most emotionally mature in the group; she’s keeping everyone in check AND making sure everyone’s feeling alright. she’s actively trying to make sure there’s no rift forming in the group, she’s actively challenging ruby in a constructive way. it was also a good way to make sure weiss and blake get their opinions known about the situation, because although blake and weiss agree, ruby didn’t exactly know that until yang started the conversation about it.
all in all, im really appreciating the direction they’re taking with yang; she’s being intelligent, mindful and the exact counter ruby needs leading the kids.
It’s also good to let ruby know not everyone is going to just blindly follow her decisions. She might be the leader but her team are three other smart girls with their own views and opinions. They follow her because they trust and agree,not because shes leader, they’ll disagree if they do so not everything is on her which I think ruby desperately needed. Last season she swallowed so much frustration because she felt she needed to, shes the leader but now she can realize not everything is on her
What are some tricks for getting executive dysfunction to bugger off long enough to do the thing?
Here are some ideas I’ve either found work for me or I’ve been told work for other people. Hopefully you’ll find some of them effective or, if not, maybe they’ll inspire you to come up with some brand new strategies of your own.
- Declare your intent aloud. Announce to yourself (and other people, if they’re around) that you’re going to do the thing you need to do. Eg: “I will clean the sink.” “I am going to have a shower.”
- Talk yourself through the task. Narrating the steps of my current task as I do them helps me to concentrate and follow through. Eg: “I am gathering the empty cups from the table and putting them in the sink.” Sometimes I can then even start narrating things I am not doing and I’ll automatically follow through because it’s become a habit in the moment. If a task involves reading, try reading it aloud.
- Steal the energy from elsewhere. Engage with something that makes you feel good first, then ride that high to do the thing that doesn’t. If the task involves doing something physical, put on some energetic music that makes you want to dance and then channel that dance energy into task energy.
- Hype yourself up. Channel your inner feel-good sports movie coach and start telling yourself how awesome you are, how you’re gonna kick this task’s butt and this task doesn’t stand a chance. Repeat random over-the-top motivational phrases until the motivation has no choice but to appear, like summoning an eldritch being by annoying them until they acknowledge you.
- Break the task into steps. Very often I’ll have trouble tackling tasks, even simple ones, just because I don’t know where to start and the whole thing feels bigger than it is. In this case I find it helps to determine the steps that a task involves and do them one at a time, treating each one as its own job. Eg: Instead of “I will write an essay” try “I will write an introductory paragraph” or even just “I will write an introductory sentence”.
- Write the steps down. Goodness knows I can’t follow verbal instructions for the life of me unless they’re given one step at a time. Rather than trying to keep the steps straight in your head, write them down and keep referring back to that list when you get sidetracked, lost, or stuck.
- Do the task out of order. If the task allows it, try doing whatever part is most appealing first to ease yourself into the workflow.
- Make the workload smaller. If jobs like doing dishes or laundry seem like too much work, consider if you can get rid of some of the clothes or dishes to cut down on how much work there is in the first place. If you’ve committed to too large a project, see if you can simplify it or distribute the work involved among a group.
- Narrow your focus. Rather than tackling an entire task at once, try breaking it into easier-to-manage chunks. If you need to do laundry or dishes, specify that you’re only going to wash shirts or plates. If reading an entire book is intimidating, assign yourself a certain number of pages at a time. If reading an entire page of text is intimidating, try covering the page with a loose piece of paper and slowly revealing lines as you read.
- Do it in five minute increments. Set a timer for five minutes and do the task for the duration. If you feel like you could do a little more, keep at it. If you’re still struggling, give yourself a break (you can also time your break if you find that helps) and try again later.
- Use a buddy. See if there’s someone who’s willing to have a call going or who will come sit by you or even just check in every once in a while to keep you accountable. ADHDers are notorious for lacking internal motivation, so employing someone else to externalize it can make a big difference.
- Be kind to yourself. Sometimes, no matter what you do, your brain just doesn’t want to cooperate. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, remember that it’s not your fault. Take a step back, have a snack or drink of water, give yourself some time to decompress, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Taking care of yourself will help you to actually be in good enough condition to do the job.
I’ve also talked more in-depth about how I personally tackle doing tasks despite executive dysfunction here, and I have an ADHD Writing Advice post here that has some tips that may be applicable to tasks other than writing.
To others who struggle with executive dysfunction, what are some strategies you’ve discovered work for you?
I use the foot in the door method. I dont want to shower, so I’ll just get in and rinse off. Well, I’m in here now so I might as well take a real shower.
Or I’m microwaving something for 2 minutes. Let’s play a game and see how many dishes I can wash while I wait. Well the timer went off but I’m already doing it so I’ll just finish the rest now.
If I can just start. Even with the intent of not finishing, I’ll still usually finish it anyways and feel accomplished and use that energy to do something else too
Ask Me No Questions, I Will Tell You No Lies (Pt. 2 of 3)
Adora has mixed feelings about Catra joining the Rebellion.
Adora is examining battle plans in the war room when Double Trouble returns from doing reconnaissance. At first, Adora doesn’t realize they are Double Trouble. Actually, she thinks they’re Catra, because the shapeshifter sidles through the door in the guise of her old friend.
There’s a swagger to Catra’s step, and Adora is immediately suspicious. They’ve been getting along more lately, but their friendship is still touch-and-go; they haven’t regained that familiar playfulness. Still, she might as well try to be pleasant.
Catra smirks and leans in, twisting a lock of Adora’s hair around her finger.
“You look pretty today.”
“H-huh?” Adora swats her hand away. She’s probably blushing: not a good thing to do around Catra. That’s when the feline blinks, green eyelids closing sideways, and Adora understands. “Double Trouble, what are you doing?”
The shapeshifter cackles. Catra’s figure turns into a green and black silhouette, and Double Trouble appears before her in their usual form.
“The look on your face! Oh, it was precious,” they say, wiping away tears. “Catra is one of my better impressions, if I dare say myself. So, when are you going to tell kitten that you like her?”
“What?” Adora deadpans.
“Don’t try to deny it, darling; it’s painfully obvious. That little display a moment ago proves it. Your cheeks went so red–”
“Okay, get out of the war room.”
Double Trouble looks affronted.
“But I’m here to report back!” They protest, swinging their tail back and forth. “Don’t you want to hear about Horde Prime’s plan to access the Heart of Etheria?”
“The Alliance is meeting here in an hour anyway. Go tell Glimmer so she knows ahead of time; she’ll appreciate it.”
“Fine,” Double Trouble drawls, pretending to collapse onto the holographic display of Etheria. Adora feels tempted to shove them toward the door. “I understand; you need a moment alone. Don’t take too long, darling. In war, time is short.”
When they have finally left the room, Adora heaves a sigh, bracing her hands on the edge of the table. Double Trouble has a way of getting under her skin like few people do, but she supposes that comes with their job description. Actually, the only other person capable of unnerving her so easily is Catra–
–Who is now standing in the doorway. She glances around the room, perplexed, before her gaze settles on Adora.
“You’re the only one here?” She asks.
Adora half-expects Catra to leave, but no. She walks over to the display table, choosing a seat that is a respectful distance away. Adora remains stubbornly silent.
“Double Trouble said there was a meeting in five minutes,” Catra says, and Adora is on the verge of screaming internally. Of course. “They suggested I come early to get my bearings, since I’m still not used to this place.”
“The war meeting starts in an hour,” Adora corrects, “And Double Trouble was just in here.”
Now it’s Catra’s turn to fall quiet.
“Classic,” she says eventually.
Catra drums her nails on the table, biting her lip.
“Now that I’m here, we might as well talk, right?”
“So… I trained with Perfuma today.” Catra gives a rare smile, one of the few Adora’s seen since she arrived. “I’ve got to admit, she’s pretty scary in combat. I mean, I’ve seen her fight before, since she was at the Battle of Bright Moon. But–“
“Stop,” Adora cuts in.
Catra’s fingers clench around the edge of the table.
“What did I do wrong this time?” She demands.
“Nothing; I just didn’t mean that kind of conversation. Catra, we need to talk about us.”
The smile on Catra’s face turns almost mocking.
“There’s an “us?” I didn’t realize, since you barely spend any time around me.”
“Don’t pin everything on me!” Adora protests. Catra’s words shouldn’t hurt, but they do. “I’ve been trying to figure out what to say. Ugh, this is already going wrong.”
“Stop freaking out,” Catra says, a little more gently. Adora ignores that, because she is physically incapable of not freaking out right now.
“Look, let’s just – be honest with each other, okay?” She asks. Catra raises a brow, but it looks like she’s listening, so Adora continues. “No more weird evasiveness. No lying. Just the truth.”
“What if the truth isn’t something you want to hear?”
“That doesn’t matter. It’s still the truth.”
Catra sighs. Her ears quirk forward, and Adora knows she’s nervous.
“So here’s my question: why did you come here, after you escaped with Glimmer? You could have gone anywhere else.”
Catra snorts, crossing her arms and giving Adora a look that seems to say, you really want to start with that?
“Horde Prime’s conquered most of the galaxy. Where else could I have gone, exactly?”
“Just answer the question, Catra!”
“I came here because I know you and your friends would do anything to save the planet, and I want to help.”
Adora’s eyes widen. Catra’s said as much before, but this time, the implication isn’t lost on her.
“Does that mean you trust me?”
“Yeah, Adora. I trust you.”
“But… Why? I mean, after everything that’s happened…”
Catra practically stares her down, and Adora knows that her fumbling questions have somehow stumbled upon the real reason, the hidden motivation behind Catra’s presence here.
“Because I’m in love with you.”
Adora’s thoughts come screeching to a halt.
If a neurotypical asks you, “What game are you playing?” they’re not asking you to describe the game.
They’re asking you if they can play too.
If a neurotypical asks you, “What are you watching?” they’re not asking you to explain the plot of the movie/tv show to them.
They’re asking if they can watch it with you.
When neurotypicals ask you “What are you doing?”
- What you think they’re asking: “Please explain to me what you are doing.”
- What they’re actually asking: “Can I join you?”
Now here’s the really fucked up part. If you start explaining to them what you’re doing? They will interpret that as a rejection.
- What you think you’re saying: [the answer to their question]
- What they think you’re saying: This is an elite and exclusive activity for a level 5 friend and you are a level 1 acquaintance. You are not qualified to join me because you don’t know all this stuff. Go away.
This is why neurotypicals think you’re being cold and antisocial.
IT’S ALL A HORRIBLE MISCOMMUNICATION.
Old Steve is useless? Sorry what? Just because he doesn’t fight anymore doesn’t make him useless.
Like Sam was retired and he was helping people that were fighting with themselves.
Also Steve was always great to motivate people.
I find it also really sad when older people/characters get sidelined because they can’t do what they could 50 years before.
Unpopular Opinion: If Shadow Weaver dies I want it to be the result of her own decisions rather than Adora or Catra killing/defeating her.
I want her to die while doing what she always does, seeking power, except this time she can no longer maintain control and she ends up being consumed by that which she sought to control (writing a meta where I’ll explain more of my thoughts regarding this). She dies as a result of her own character flaws after failing to change or overcome them.
Or, another scenerio in which she dies, is that she does genuinely change and she sacrifices herself. I doubt she’ll get redeemed (but I’m leaning towards 30% of it being a possibility) but if she does than she needs to genuinely change and confront the source of her evil acts: her selfishness and insecurity.
I think Shadow Weaver hates herself, she compares herself to Catra in S3 and while this was manipulation I also think it was truth and that the reason she targeted Catra so harshly was because she saw her own weaknesses mirrored in Catra.
She decided to confront her insecurities by seeking power, like Catra, though Catra sought to get power for herself while Shadow Weaver sought to control those who were (had the potential to be) more powerful than her. She’s selfish and always chooses herself and power over others.
So, if she dies through an act of redemptive sacrifice than she needs to reject power in a selfless act which I think is best if she does it saving Catra. Because Catra was the one she targeted the most and gave the least of her affection to and since she sees herself in Catra, the act is also symbolic of her letting go of her self hatred (or even learning to see others outside of herself, since that’s another flaw she has. She only views others in relation to herself and what she gets from them).
Though, while I would love that—character development!—I feel like it deserves more focus on the aftermath, Catra dealing with her feelings regarding it, than would be possible to deliver in the remaining episodes.
Anyway, my main point is that I don’t want Adora or Catra to be the one to kill Shadow Weaver. I don’t think it does anything for their character arcs or Shadow Weaver’s and that if Shadow Weaver’s fate is left entirely to her own choices it serves a more powerful point, regardless of where her choice leads.
Of course, there is a possibility that Shadow Weaver lives. Not even necessarily after redemption, she might not change at all, but maybe she becomes like that relative that no likes at family reunions but is always invited anyway. (I’m looking at you [redacted])
And she always burns the turkey.
IT’S SO SEXY OF HER
YASHA IS A HIMBO YOU’RE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT!!!!
himbo means a man who is big/strong/handsome, dumb, and kind, which are obviously incredibly valid traits. bimbo does not have the connotations of strength, or bigness, or even kindness, which is why it is incredibly not valid. women can be himbos too
The inevitable end might not be so dangerous in a group fight, like she will, but the problem is that she could be safe right until she attacked. But she also can’t see who she’s fighting, she probably has tremor sense or something she could tell where people are but probably not who they are. She might be able to tell who the laughing hand is when she’s underground because he’s huge, but she probably can’t tell the difference between who is who of a bunch of medium sized creatures. If they’re fighting with a bunch of cobalt soul monks and cultists, in addition to the other bad guys and nein, I don’t think she’s going to be able to kick their asses alone like she did in Pumats. I mean she’s still a monster rouge so she can get sneak attack when they’re engaged with an enemy so it’s not super necessary to be hidden like she had to be in a 7 v 1 fight, but she wouldn’t also be able to just stay hidden forcing them to hold all their actions