botanyshitposts

Quill 🌱 he/him 🌱 hi plants are my life and i like shitposting. they say to follow ur dreams so here i am, a combination of everything i love 🌱 Iowa corn hell pride 🌱 current formal plant courses: plant systematics 🌱current pet project: stigmaria literature review

dagny-hashtaggart:

tilthat:

TIL Human babies are 80% water at birth, a slightly higher water content than bananas and slightly less than fresh potatoes.

via reddit.com

Once again shown up by the power and dignity of the root vegetable

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Question:

Hey hey hey hey. What the FUCK is up with maize. Im terrified for my life. As a British person the closest I’ve ever got to that was belly crawling thru a mustard field which was weird lmao but only about 4 foot high. I crawled because it was really tangled. Crazy. Anyways the way you tag and talk about stuff sounds very British

Answer:

a very good quote: 

“Modern corn is so highly domesticated that it has in a sense become a biological monstrosity. Although it is superbly adapted for producing grain, it could not survive under natural conditions because it has no satisfactory mechanism for dispersing its seed. If an ear of corn is left on it’s own under conditions favorable for germination, it will give rise to a group of seedlings so densely clustered that they will compete among themselves for water and soil nutrients, with the result that all may fail to reach reproductive age. Without human intervention modern corn would become extinct in a few generations. Corn can survive only if man removes the kernels from the cob and plants them.” 

-Dr. George Beadle, the dude who initially proposed the hypothesis that modern maize was domesticated from the native mexican grass teosinte and then fought with other corn scientists in various heated (sometimes public) debates about it for decades until it became the accepted predominating theory in the niche field of corn science, talking about maize, the very thing he fought other scientists about for decades, while calling it a biological monstrosity and stressing that although it is an objectively good crop it is such a weak little baby bastard of a species that leaving it to its own devices in the wild would hypothetically end with it killing itself in its intense confusion about how to be a real plant. which is true, because it’s been domesticated for 9,000 years, but still. the experts have spoken

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image

Guess who’s here?! It’s the skunky bois! (Submitted by @leviintheskywithdiamonds)

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Question:

hi i just wanted you to know your shitpost about TMV inspired me indirectly all this time later to make my microbiology turn paper about the tobacco mosaic virus, what really happened was i texted my best friend "whats a sexy virus I can do my paper on" and he said "TMV" and i'm like oh yeah. that weird milk virus. so now i'm doing it, thank you for ur shitposts have a nice day

Answer:

tobacco mosaic virus be like hmm i am feeling saucy. i will make humans make antibodies to me when they smoke infected tobacco even tho i cant make animals actually sick. i will prove elusive and difficult for science to study also. overall i will simply cause a ruckus

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syngoniums:

Nepenthes reinwardtiana, showing its trademark eyespots inside the pitcher. It’s not the only species with this feature, though it’s the most obvious to human observers. The spots are simply areas inside the trap where the slippery, waxy lining does not develop. Their function is unclear, but based on their location, they most likely play some role in attracting insects.

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for those unacquainted with dodder, the parasitic plant that just starts full on hunting shit down terminator-style as soon as it sprouts, this is a good intro

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Question:

Hello! I just learned about dodder and man, am i freaked out! I'm not used to plants having the ability to smell !!!

Answer:

oh yeah baby…..that ones a classic in terms of parasitic plants….100/100

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botanyshitposts:

today at the seed lab there’s been some construction going on in the building and the construction guys went into one of the lab rooms and started taking out some ceiling tiles, which was fine because everybody was like ‘yeah okay its not gonna be too bad’ and had taken everything out except for a centrifuge and some other equipment in a fume hood and a big industrial freezer used for samples, but as it turns out removing ceiling tiles that haven’t been touched for decades can be pretty dusty, and the fume hood was half-open and well. you know 

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today at the seed lab there’s been some construction going on in the building and the construction guys went into one of the lab rooms and started taking out some ceiling tiles, which was fine because everybody was like ‘yeah okay its not gonna be too bad’ and had taken everything out except for a centrifuge and some other equipment in a fume hood and a big industrial freezer used for samples, but as it turns out removing ceiling tiles that haven’t been touched for decades can be pretty dusty, and the fume hood was half-open and well. you know 

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fellas…………….

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Question:

Figs are horribly cursed and incredibly delicious

Answer:

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Question:

Hey so pineapples have always been a really weird fruit to me, and the longer I've followed you the less I've trusted them. Can u tell me what the fuck is up with pineapples???

Answer:

oh man dude…….this is cursed info but pineapples are whats called a ‘multiple fruit’. this is because pineapples are literally multiple fruits, called fruitlets, packed so closely together that they fuse into one big solid fruit. likewise, the flowers are in a tightly packed flowering structure where each one is pollinated separately. the thing we know as a ‘pineapple’ is an entire flowering structure who’s fruits just fused together. this is what it looks like when it’s in bloom

notice the little purple bits sticking out; those are the flowers, each one separate and going to create an individual fruit. if you’ve ever grown bromeliads before (think airplants) and have had them bloom, these kind of weird, half-sheathed flowers will look pretty familiar, because pineapples are in the same family. flowers aside though, when you look back at a pineapple the individual fruitlets that give rise to the final fused fruit become pretty apparent (the flowering structure above is on the far left, getting older going to the right): 

the core of a pineapple is edible, btw. tough, because it’s the cortex all the fruitlets are fusing to and needs to have some extra heft to it, but technically edible. so in short your gut was right in not trusting them lmao 

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Question:

today in my crop production class we toured the state seed lab and i thought of you when they whipped out the vacuum plate to show us how to plate small seeds easier

Answer:

finally some appreciation for us US government/university seed lab workers……my hands look like this *gloves stained red from seed treatment* so hers can look like this *ungloved unstained hands eating a fine vegetable grown from seeds sold to a farmer at an appropriate price for the quality*

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ive been using twitter a little more lately due to it being my partner’s social media of choice and I keep getting whiplash because I forgot I followed a ton of plant science accounts along with normal like, meme and politics and writing accounts and stuff so my timeline will be like ‘EHAT if bernies name was sernie’ followed immediately by like ‘New Development In Diagnostics Allows Real Time Maize Disease Survelliance, Complex Fungal Detection #yearofplanthealth #maize’ *picture of an excel spreadsheet*

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just got out of a plant systematics exam…..would like to thank all the plants in the room tolerating the heavy scrutiny of like 20 people poking at them during the practical portion……lots of them were looking a little scraggly when i was in there and there are still a few more sections of testing to go…..godspeed 

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Question:

Wait if lichens aren’t plants... what ARE they

Answer:

because it’s been a hot second since this blog has circled back around to Lichen Time, i will redirect you to the last time i got this question!

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Question:

I saw on Instagram someone posted a large chunk of Quartz and it was just covered in linchen. What can't that stuff grow on!?

Answer:

i….honestly can’t think of a substrate they wouldn’t theoretically choose to grow on, tbh. lichens grow in nearly every condition on land, on every continent. you could be on a boat in the middle of the ocean and im sure with enough time at least one lichen would find its way on there. i think ive talked about this on here before, but multiple studies over the past two decades have also proven that lichens can survive the vacuum of space with minimal damage; less surprising than it sounds when you think about how some of the species tested are adapted to extreme highland mountain environments as well as like, antarctica, so they probably just thought it was a slightly more brisk winter or something. in short, i don’t think they’re at like, Tardigrade-level wild survival capacity, but they’re definitely up there. 

a side note specific to being amazed by lichens growing on quartz: in my uni’s herbarium we have a 115 year old specimen that was chipped off an exposed piece of granite here in iowa, and the packet has a note from the botanist who recovered it expressing pretty much the same sentiment as in this ask. i posted about it when i found it, and theres more info and pictures in the original post, but here’s the pic of the note: 

the awe of lichens growing on strange things……intergenerational

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Question:

Botany cladograms must really look like webs instead of the trees they’re SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE

Answer:

from what I’ve seen they actually look pretty normal, but this reminds me of the finest plant cladogram I’ve ever seen, shown as an example of a tree built with bad molecular data at a carnivorous plant phylogeny lecture i was at 2 years ago

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just finished a cladogram of 6 made up species on a plant systematics practice exam and I think it might be right….kew if you are out there hire me

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scorpioid cyme funkiest determinate flower structure arrangement send tweet

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