hey reblog this instead
I recently learnt that executive dysfunction can be broken down into two main categories: anxiety that your attempt won’t be satisfactory, or confusion about where to start or how to break it down into steps. As much as we feel bad about it, it’s extremely important to remember that it is NOT laziness and we in fact shouldn’t feel bad.
executive dysfunction be like *wants to do something* *doesnt do it* *feels bad* *wants to do something* *doesnt do it* *feels bad* *wants to do something* *doesnt do it* *feels ba
“So this next song that we’re going to do is one that is about how maybe in our lives if we’ve ever been let down or things haven’t turned out the way that we wanted them to in relationships, how oftentimes we then kind of have this sort of phantom fear of like, tragedy. Of phantom tragedy, where you’re like, if you ever find something really great, or a situation that is solid, or a situation where your trust isn’t being broken, sometimes you have to deal with your demons from all those times that it didn’t work and you have to kind of stop yourself from thinking that the worst is always going to happen. And this is a song that kind of touches on, you know, anxiety, and just how to break patterns and cycles that aren’t healthy. Because we learn a lot in life, and some of the lessons are good and some of the habits are good and some of the habits are bad. And so it’s a song basically about having to unlearn some bad lessons that you learned in the past. This one is called The Archer.”
— Taylor introducing The Archer in the BBC Radio One Live Lounge
reblog if you:
- flinch away when someone touches you.
- panic when you accidentally break an object.
- get scared when someone walks behind you.
- feel your heart rate increase at every sudden noise.
- are easily panicked by slightly-louder-than-normal sounds.
- stare apprehensively at your bedroom doorway for hours at night.
- have trouble making eye contact with people.
- always feel either too mature or too immature for your age.
- simultaneously crave and be terrified of physical contact.
because i do all of these
Lately, I’ve been a lot happier. I’ve been better off. Something I see a lot on this site is people letting their mental illnesses consume them. I’m in no way blaming anyone for that since I know that it’s so so so difficult to not let it do that to you. but I slowly realized that if I could break the cycle, then maybe I could get better. I looked at my actions, started holding myself accountable for what I was doing and saying, and I tried to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. “I want to kill myself.” No. I don’t want to kill myself. I want to be happier. Well, what is preventing me from being happy? What can I do to change what is changeable? It’s so important to remember that in order for things to change, YOU have to be the one to put in that effort and make a change. Stop waiting for change to happen on its own, because it won’t. I noticed that when I started taking steps to make myself happier, it became easier and easier to get better. It was like a domino effect. I became so assertive with my mental health. I WILL get better, and I’m not letting anything stop me. Even if it takes a while, I’m going to make changes that will help me enjoy life even if it’s just a little bit more. Of course, I’m not 100% healed. I still have a lot of anxiety, I’m still self-conscious, I still find myself feeling the rollercoaster of bpd emotions. But I’ve learned how to manage a lot. My anxiety has gone down (partially due to changing my thoughts, partially due to Ativan). I’ve learned how to not have bpd rage episodes towards the people I love. I’ve learned how to be satisfied with talking to several people rather than relying on just one person. I’ve become so much more grateful for everything in my life and it’s honestly so refreshing to feel happier. So I encourage everyone who follows me to take a step back and realize that although change can be scary, it is the best thing I’ve ever done to myself. It can be so difficult at first, and there will be days where you feel like you’re backpedaling, but I promise you that in the long run, it gets easier and easier to get better if you just start. I love you guys and I hope you guys all one day feel recovered.
*This post isn’t trying to bash on people who struggle with this. I know everyone’s situations are different and it’s likely you could be in a situation that you can’t change (e.g. feeling depressed due to parents who don’t accept your sexuality). I just wanted to share the mentality that got me to finally start getting better. I just hope that at least one person reads this and gets some motivation, or just sees that it is possible to recover and that it feels so good to. I have a lot to say abt this topic. If you ever need someone to talk to, or you need advice, feel free to PM me.
In the last few years I’ve had the exact same experience as OP. It’s a long hard road to follow, but believe me, others have travelled down it before and so can you!
Okay, that may have been a bit corny, but it’s true. Determination is key. It may sound silly but one thing that helped me is that I pretended there was a biography written about be and how I was someone who never gave up. When things got (get) hard, I kept thinking “she always managed to push through” &c, like it was already said and done.
I still struggle at times. Anxiety is a big one for me. But I’m going to continue to work on it.
bro… are you writing mean things about yourself online..?
stop saying these things.. u gotta stop using maladaptive coping humour to demean and belittle yourself so much.. i just want u to be kinder to urself bro
.. our psyche is like a garden that needs to be tended to and watered.. take care of urself ok bro? i’m always here if u need me
Adhd things that need to be talked more about (because adhd is more than just not being able to focus)
- Short term memory loss. Seriously, I forget things that are said to me 5 minutes ago or will forget I opened a soda and will have 3 open cans by the end of the day with none of them finished. A lot of people don’t know about this, and so they think that I don’t care enough to listen to what their saying (which I do!!! I just can’t remember it) or that I’m lazy because of all the things I don’t end up doing because I forgot I had to do them.
- Lack of motivation. Listen, I honestly can’t do anything on my own for the most part. I have to have someone else tell me to do something or have them set goals for me because it’s so damn difficult for me to do it myself. Again, I’m not lazy, I just have trouble doing things on my own
- Language processing difficulties. Sometimes, English and words in general don’t work out in my head. Reading or even listening to someone talk can be extremely difficult for me to understand because my brain just won’t work. Why? Can’t tell you 99% of the time! It’s not that I need to focus, it’s that my brain is just buffering.
- Needing multiple forms of stimulation at all times. I have a tin of putty that I keep in my book bag and a smaller one I keep in my purse at all times because of this reason. If I want to learn anything at school, I have to be able to look at something, hear something, and have something to do with my hands. Otherwise, it’s probably a big nope for me. What’s frustrating is that since this isn’t talked about enough, I often get called childish or get looked down upon because I have to play with silly putty in a highschool class.
- Hyperfixation. Adhd can mean not being able to focus, but it’s also focusing too much on something! This can mean anything from a certain interest someone is in to at that moment, to something like a song that has been stuck in your head for a week. People seem to not understand this and think that we’re boring and have nothing else to talk about or that we’re annoying because we keep bringing the same things up over and over again but that’s not the case. Trust me, I’m annoyed with the hit or miss song too, but at least it’s not playing in your head constantly like it is for me
These are all the ones I can think of right now, but it’s really important we talk about this stuff more. All of these things that come with adhd can be very frustrating for those around us because they don’t understand that we can’t help it. To an outsider, it may just look like a person with adhd is just lazy and doesn’t care, when it’s actually just how our brains are wired. None of us want to be frustrating to others!! In fact, all of this frustrates us too!! But since adhd is just known as “not being able to focus”, people don’t realize what all comes with it and how it can really fuck everyone over.
Please add more if you can think of anything else!! I’m horrible with lists lol
- RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) is also a fairly common experience of ppl with adhd! RSD is an extreme emotional sensitivity caused by the perception of failing, or being rejected, mocked, or criticised. (key word: perception. the feelings of rejection/failure aren’t always very rational). it seems to not get enough attention, even in discussions about neurodivergency, which rlly sucks b/c it’s a very painful thing to experience… it often also comes with suicidal ideation, and since not a lot of people know what it is, in some cases it’s misdiagnosed as serious mood disorders like bpd or bipolar :-(
^^^ I was gonna add RSD, glad someone else did! Also (this is long and I know I left a lot out/probably messed up but I don’t have the brain rn to proofread and these are Important):
- shit… I had some stuff to add, I promise, I can’t remember
- ummm ugh I really did though
- oh! Oh yeah!
ADHD is an executive function deficit disorder (EFDD)
A lot of the below points are related/connected to executive dysfunction, bc it’s such a huge part of our brain structure, even with the help of meds. Strap in for some psychology fun, folks!
Our Limbic System: it’s like a Boggart - terrifying, in constant flux, and absolutely ridikkulus.
- Amygdala chaos. Our amygdalas (part of limbic system in brain that regulates fight/flight/freeze) operate at extremes. This ties in with RSD a lot cause it can cause us to “overreact” with anger, despair, intense fear/panic, and/or a sort of paralysis that makes it near impossible to deal with difficult situations
- Messed-up reward centers. We don’t “procrastinate” so much as we just don’t have the natural function to self-motivate. Also, impatience.
- Hippocampus - in charge of memory & auditory processing
- Wernicke’s area - responsible for speech comprehension
- Broca’s area - responsible for producing speech
- Basal ganglia - habit-learning and forming, schedule, routine
- ADHD symptoms aren’t selective. People often say stuff like “if it was important you’d remember” or “you can focus on things you enjoy, so clearly you CAN focus and just choose not to.” Um, no. Symptoms can apply to anything. Even stuff we really care about we can forget or fail to get up the motivation for.
- Hypersensitivity - we can get sensory overload easily, or have way too little stimulus, both of which impair almost all functioning
- Sleep problems. Our options are insomnia, hypersomnia, or oscillating wildly between the two.
Neurotransmitters hate us! :) Too much, too little, too unregulated, synapse issues, you name it
- Norepinephrine - Oh, norepinephrine… please return from the war. This is the Big One. The thing that first comes up when talking about ADHD in the brain. It’s in charge of motivation, stress/excitability/reactionary regulation, attention, memory storage and retrieval, alertness, maintaining focus and task endurance, processing sensory information, priority-setting, intentional behavior, thought-organization, executive functioning involved in reasoning, learning, and problem solving, etc.
- Dopamine - our reward centers are messed up. It takes a LOT more for us to get a dopamine boost, and even then it’s much lower and duller than neurotypicals get. Exercise, food, whatever it is - it isn’t nearly as effective for us when it comes to depression/anxiety/mood problems in general. It can help, but not in the same way.
- Serotonin - influences mood, social behavior, sleep, and memory.
- Basically our frontal lobes are little shits (emphasis on little… they’re small) You know, the part of the brain that does that thing called ~Executive Functioning?~
- Goal-oriented tasks - we often can’t just do something simply bc it needs to be done. That’s not enough.
- Delayed gratification - doesn’t process unless instant results/rewards/consequences
- Our perception of time is WAY off - either something is Now, or it’s Not Now and therefore waaaay in the future or past. If a project is due in a month, it will Always be a month away even the day prior to the due date. If I look at the clock and it’s 12pm, it will Be 12pm until I look at a clock again, even if I know it’s been a while since then
- Impulse control - again with not understanding the concept of long-term. We also don’t inherently understand mood regulation or how to handle outbursts
- Social behavior - uh, yeah. That can be hard. Sometimes we’re completely unaware of our surroundings and how we’re acting, but then sometimes RSD and social anxiety kick in and we become hyper-aware of every nugget of body language, tone, expression, etc., interpreting everything as negative (I’m making them uncomfortable, they hate me, I’m being weird, I’m stressful to be around, they coughed probably as a sign I should stop doing something. Or start? Oh no.) We blurt stuff out even if it’s totally unrelated or unhelpful, lots of times when we know we shouldn’t but we just? can’t help it??
- Decision-making - hahahaha yep. remember fight/flight/freeze? Yeah this is “freeze’s” favorite place to butt in. Either our minds go blank and we cannot think of any options, or it’s exploding with Too Many possibilities to think through properly. This usually results in doing nothing, panicking, or crap what was the last one I was gonna say?? Oh right the impulse control thing again - we just do Something without foresight. Which brings us to
- planning - thinking ahead is hard enough. We CAN plan and be good at it, but sticking with it is super difficult. Which is obnoxious bc being on a schedule in some way is known to be helpful for ADHD… oof.
- Initiating, following through on, and switching between tasks. A lot of the time we honestly don’t know how to start something, or even how to go about thinking about starting something. I can’t think enough right now to fill this one out but you get it.
- Working Memory: The ability to hold things in your mind. HAHAHA unless it’s something lodged in there for months there’s no telling if I can remember a n y t h i n g
- Comorbid Disorders - Because of the way our brains are structures and how they function, ADHD has a SUPER high comorbitity rate, meaning there are often more disorders at play. For instance, ADHD nearly always comes with built-in depression and anxiety. Ppl with ADHD have higher likelihoods than the general population to also have: bipolar (type I or II, cyclothymia, dysmithia, rapid-cycling, etc.), OCD, BPD (ADHDers can have BPD as well, but it IS often misdiagnosed because of how similar it is to RSD), dyslexia, eating disorders, etc. Many ADHD symptoms are shared by/overlap with other things inherently, even without separate diagnoses, like being prone to chronic sadness or feelings of worthlessness, inability to regulate emotion, etc.
ADHD IS A REAL DISORDER THAT GOES WAY BEYOND WHAT YOU THINK
I know we ADHD peeps have trouble reading lots of text at once, so
Nice additions y'all
I did actually skim ahead to the TL;DR about ¾ of the way through, hello I am a total adhd cliche in the middle of an insomnia spell (when a month ago all I could do was sleep) now if you don’t mind I’m going to go play ukulele for hours until I remember everything else I gotta do
When I have brain fog and can’t word, it feels like the noise a dial-up modem makes. Thankfully, “verbing the noun” is a more common thing people do with their speech nowadays, so I can get by.
Every time I run across a post about ADHD like this it makes me go “Oh wow. I do almost all these things. I think maybe I have this. I should go to the doctor”
Then I don’t go to the doctor, usually because of said issues. Super fun.
So Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with ADHD is a GREAT book on this kind of thing. It’s helped my husband tremendously. Really recommend it.
Mmh. Imagining trying to tell That Guy that he might have an issue with the words “deficit” and “disorder” in it when I can’t even smile if he dies in a video game in an amusing way without him screaming at me because he assumes I’m mocking him and think lowly of him for dying in a video game…
If you say a random number with an absolute value greater than ~1 billion, it’s likely that you’re the first human to ever say it. Use the number in a sentence and you’re likely the first human to have ever had a complete thought involving it, and you probably just created a brand new sentence.
Right! An old number of mine would be seven billion, eight hundred two million, four hundred sixty six thousand, one hundred five.
Socks has been having accidents. I’ve noticed places where she just emptied her bowels or bladder on the spot instead of going to her litter box. I’m already hurting for money and now I need to bring her in for a check-up and, depending on how that goes, further care.
So as to not get the funds confused with my GoFundMe, people wishing to donate strictly for Socks’s medical care should donate to my Paypal, paypal.me/nemily. I will only use those funds for Socks.
Please help my precious baby.
I’m sorry to hear Socks isn’t doing well 😕 it’s not the same as financial support, but this website has some tips about bringing your kitty to the vet and some questions to think about http://www.cathealthy.ca/your-cat-and-the-vet/ the more information you can give the dr about her habits the faster they can figure out the problem which means less visits and less trial and error with medications, which will ultimately lead to spending less money. Vets may know cat anatomy and medicine, but only you know Socks! How long have you noticed this? Has she even done this in the past? Where is she going? How is her mobility? Does she ever hesitate to jump or use stairs? How often is the litter box scooped? What food is she on, have there been changes to it? These are just a few things to think about. I hope everything goes well and Socks can go back to being a healthy smol bean!! (Also does that chair she’s on recline? Because I’m pretty sure I have the same one)