copperbadge

I am Sam, I do stuff. You can find my novels and essays on writing at Extribulum, my professional website. My fanfic is archived at AO3. You can email me at copperbadge at gmail.com.

Latest News:
The Fandom Shopping Directory
The Tumblr "Find Me" Directory

Radio Free Monday
Here's the form to fill out. You may also want to consult my Primer On Fundraising.

Want to support my work with cash? I have a Ko-Fi here

If you want to say hello the slow way, you can reach me by mail at:

Copperbadge
PO Box A3309
Chicago, IL 60690

Relevant To The Public Interest
Running Resources Masterpost
Job Hunt Advice Masterpost
Housing Advice Masterpost
Livestreaming Basics
How To Bookmark Fanfic On Evernote
A Mostly Accurate Guide To Chicago
SURPRISE BREAKFAST
How to find Mental Health Services
Crossposting from Tumblr to LJ/DW
Supertasting and "Picky" Eating
Sam's "How To Adult" File
Sam's Cookbook

Activism
History May Not Repeat Itself
Why Giving Efficiently Is A Myth
Finding Charities Part I and Part II

Relevant to Fannish Interests:
Wise Advice from Robert Downey Jr.
Sam's Guide to Marvel Civil War
Hater-Free Comics
The Avengers Drinking Game
The Captain America Drinking Game
Samuel L. Jackson Is All Of Us
Dubious Consentacles: A History
Twelve Tiny Steves
Tony's Apology from Ironsides
Night Vale: A Primer
Lovelace the Owl
COMICS!
I'm Never Sorry.
LOCHNESSED

Comic Book Primers
Comic Book Recommendations
The Marvel Universes
The Nihilism Of Infinity Gems

SumeriaSmith's amazing Master Marvel Chronology is a fantastic resource for anyone uncertain of how to read comics and in what order. Highly recommended.


Tony Stark's Red Thong Of Justice
Matt Fraction's Iron Man
Tony Stark and Tiberius Stone
Iron Man: The Good Parts Version
The Offical Iron Man High School AU
Tony and Natasha, Ultimates Style
Ultimate Stark: Father Of The Year Pt I
Ultimate Stark: Father Of The Year Pt II
Lesbian Apocalypse Robot Tony Stark
Jan and Tony's Whirlwind Romance

A Social History Of Captain America
Captain America's Duct Taped Shield
Cap's Meth-Fueled Rampage
The Funeral That Never Was
Untangling Bucky Barnes
Captain America, Babydaddy
Sharon Carter, Hot Mess
Steve Rogers, Clint's First Sir
Sunburns Save Lives

A Brief History Of Spider-man
The Five Spider-mans
How To Read Spider-man
Spider-man's Six Arms

Marcus & Cheese (Fury & Coulson)
Reed Richards, Stretchy Motherfucker
Wanda Maximoff's Terrible History
Sam "explains" Deadpool
The Size Of Arnim Zola

scifigrl47:

It’s like the final shot of a movie, as my world weary trainer walks off into the sunset, turning her back on yet another raid that will break her heart.

There goes a trainer who named their buddy Fuckety-bye.

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Iconique.

[Description: a close up of Polk showcasing her whiskers, nose freckles, and green eyes. Her skull collar is on upside down but she prefers it that way, like a rebel.]

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christinawritesfiction:

Noooooo I’m not reusing the same tropes in all my WIPs, I’m just (checks notes) “creating an author brand”

I don’t have a narrative kink I have a (looks over your shoulder) “signature style” 

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Question:

So, I’ve got followers that don’t actually show up on my follower list and I assume they’re either tumblr ghosts or porn bots. Fair?

Answer:

Wait, how do you know they’re following you if you don’t talk to them and they don’t show up on your follower list? 

I think you may be mistaking followers for people who have reblogged from you. You don’t have to follow someone to reblog their content, you just have to not be blocked by them. Anyone can reblog from you, or from someone else who reblogged you, as long as they aren’t blocked. 

Edit: Aha, as people have pointed out, you can count the followers in your list against your follower count. That’s not something it’s possible to do with my followers count, so I didn’t think of it. I have no idea why that would be, but Tumblr has thought for the last five years that I have at least 17 more Likes than I actually have, so the ways of this site are mysterious :D

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In my old job, when I worked for a different kind of nonprofit, I still did much the same job, just with a slightly different bent. One part that doesn’t change is obituaries: tracking donors who’ve died, or using an obit to build a family tree – shockingly effective given the predeceased- and survived-bys. 

I’m pretty sanguine about obituaries; the worst has happened, and it didn’t happen to me, so I’m grateful. I collect the best euphemisms for death that I find. ”Fell asleep to Jesus” is still top but closely followed by “Earned her wings” and “Reunited with glory”.  You have to grow a bit of a callus on your soul to do the job.

In my new job, I deal with more “in memory of” gifts, where people give in the name of a deceased friend or loved one. Most of the time that doesn’t bother me either because there’s no detail; it’s just “in memory of so-and-so” and I include that in the report I prepare each week. 

The donation form includes a space to add a note, and usually that’s left blank, or occasionally used to say “please notify [person] at [address] of this donation”. The “notes” get pulled in with all the other data and sent to me as part of a spreadsheet each week, so I see the donor’s name and giving information, if they gave in memory of someone, and then the column for the notes. 

Most of the time they aren’t relevant to my work. I still read them all, though, and every once in a while there’s a note that just knocks me flat. It’s never what I think it’ll be, either; it’s always only part of a story, and the soul fills in the rest. 

I was 45 when I lost her.

That’s the whole note. 

I looked him up; he gives regularly in her name but hasn’t ever left a note before, and he’s in his 50s now. I hope he’s having an okay day today. 

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kudilu:

crapstitch:

crapstitch:

happy thursday the 20th!

i remembered this simpsons meme at work yesterday and whipped up a pattern when i came home. unfortunately i won’t have time to stitch it for today, and the next thursday the 20th isn’t until september 2018, so have a free pattern!! (i personally think it would look amazing in metallics but i sure as hell don’t have the patience for that.) 

if you make one and post it please tag me, i’d love to see!

finally finished making a patch of this just in time for the first thursday the 20th of 2020! might hunt down an obnoxiously large chain and turn it into a necklace, haven’t decided yet

@copperbadge

REBLOGGING BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE even though I don’t…know what this is about.

(Obviously it’s something from the Simpsons, I just don’t know the specifics. :D)

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My buddy decided to get off the bus before my stop this morning.

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goodbyeomelas:

copperbadge:

jeanninedupree:

copperbadge:

lynati:

jabberwockypie:

klaus-hargreeves-katz:

jabberwockypie:

girlwithouthands:

“In Russian, Baba Yaga’s name is not capitalized. Indeed, it is not a name at all, but a description—“old lady yaga” or perhaps “scary old woman.”  There is often more than one Baba Yaga in a story, and thus we should really say “a Baba Yaga,” “the Baba Yaga.” We do so in these tales when a story would otherwise be confusing. We have continued the western tradition of capitalizing Baba Yaga, since the words cannot be translated and have no other meaning in English (aside perhaps from the pleasant associations of a rum baba).  There is no graceful way to put the name in the plural in English, and in Russian tales multiple iterations of Baba Yaga never appear at the same time, only in sequence: Baba Yaga sisters or cousins talk about one another, or send travelers along to one another, but they do not live together.  The first-person pronoun “I” in Russian, ‘ia,’ is also uncapitalized. In some tales our witch is called only “Yaga.” A few tales refer to her as “Yagishna,” a patronymic form suggesting that she is Yaga’s daughter rather than Yaga herself. (That in turn suggests that Baba Yaga reproduces parthenogenetically, and some scholars agree that she does.)  The lack of capitalization in every published Russian folktale also hints at Baba Yaga’s status as a type rather than an individual, a paradigmatic mean or frightening old woman.  This description in place of a name, too, could suggest that it was once a euphemism for another name or term, too holy or frightening to be spoken, and therefore now long forgotten.”

— Sibelan Forrester, from her introduction to Baba Yaga: The Wild Witch of the East in Russian Fairy Tales

I feel like this suggests that - with much dedication and study - you, too, could go out into the woods and be a baba yaga.

The question then becomes whether the chicken house just manifests when you achieve Baba Yaga-hood, or whether you have to find or construct one.

…Definitely not asking out of any desire to own a house on chicken legs. Of course not.

Well now I want to know, too

Who says it has to be one way or the other? If you are baba yaga enough, the house will come to you; if you build the house, being baba yaga will come to you.

What worries me about the baba yaga’s house arriving when she has reached baba yagadom is that it means the houses are out there somewhere…feral…breeding….

I suggest the houses are out there crouching with their legs tucked under them, unrecognized, disguised as garden sheds or cottages. They only stand up when a baba yaga takes ownership.

I REMAIN ODDLY NOT REASSURED BY THIS. They could be ANYWHERE. 

This is probably why I’m a Strega Nona guy. Baba Yaga goes too hard for me. 

One does not simply opt out of the Baba Yagas.

*leans in close* I don’t think they know about Second Babayaga. 

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drgaellon:

I needed this joke like I need a hole in the head. @copperbadge​

radicalcatgirlanarchy:

nobody here gets my trepanation jokes. they could really stand to be more open-minded

It takes real skull to do it properly. 

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oculus-temmelfare:

I have been to 37 states and ohio could be most of them

xxfangirlanonymousxx:

He’s right

dankmemeuniversity:

Speaking as a resident of one of the many potential Ohios, fair. 

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jeanninedupree:

copperbadge:

lynati:

jabberwockypie:

klaus-hargreeves-katz:

jabberwockypie:

girlwithouthands:

“In Russian, Baba Yaga’s name is not capitalized. Indeed, it is not a name at all, but a description—“old lady yaga” or perhaps “scary old woman.”  There is often more than one Baba Yaga in a story, and thus we should really say “a Baba Yaga,” “the Baba Yaga.” We do so in these tales when a story would otherwise be confusing. We have continued the western tradition of capitalizing Baba Yaga, since the words cannot be translated and have no other meaning in English (aside perhaps from the pleasant associations of a rum baba).  There is no graceful way to put the name in the plural in English, and in Russian tales multiple iterations of Baba Yaga never appear at the same time, only in sequence: Baba Yaga sisters or cousins talk about one another, or send travelers along to one another, but they do not live together.  The first-person pronoun “I” in Russian, ‘ia,’ is also uncapitalized. In some tales our witch is called only “Yaga.” A few tales refer to her as “Yagishna,” a patronymic form suggesting that she is Yaga’s daughter rather than Yaga herself. (That in turn suggests that Baba Yaga reproduces parthenogenetically, and some scholars agree that she does.)  The lack of capitalization in every published Russian folktale also hints at Baba Yaga’s status as a type rather than an individual, a paradigmatic mean or frightening old woman.  This description in place of a name, too, could suggest that it was once a euphemism for another name or term, too holy or frightening to be spoken, and therefore now long forgotten.”

— Sibelan Forrester, from her introduction to Baba Yaga: The Wild Witch of the East in Russian Fairy Tales

I feel like this suggests that - with much dedication and study - you, too, could go out into the woods and be a baba yaga.

The question then becomes whether the chicken house just manifests when you achieve Baba Yaga-hood, or whether you have to find or construct one.

…Definitely not asking out of any desire to own a house on chicken legs. Of course not.

Well now I want to know, too

Who says it has to be one way or the other? If you are baba yaga enough, the house will come to you; if you build the house, being baba yaga will come to you.

What worries me about the baba yaga’s house arriving when she has reached baba yagadom is that it means the houses are out there somewhere…feral…breeding….

I suggest the houses are out there crouching with their legs tucked under them, unrecognized, disguised as garden sheds or cottages. They only stand up when a baba yaga takes ownership.

I REMAIN ODDLY NOT REASSURED BY THIS. They could be ANYWHERE. 

This is probably why I’m a Strega Nona guy. Baba Yaga goes too hard for me. 

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Question:

Previous anon again. The person in question needs the money to buy groceries and other necessities for her and her daughter. She also can't go home until she gets the money she needs for her meds.

Answer:

Hey Anon, I didn’t get a previous message from you, unfortunately. While I’m happy to help publicize fundraisers and people in need (and it certainly sounds like they are!) I don’t reblog individual posts, because I get so many requests. The best way to ensure I see it and the only way to get it publicized by me is to fill out the form here, so that I have all the info I need, and then I’ll include links to the fundraiser in my Radio Free Monday post next Monday. Thanks for understanding! 

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justalurkr:

When you say weed out, do you mean block, or is there a way to make blogs unfollow me?

copperbadge:

I got bored this morning and noticed a bunch of new follower notifications from last night, so I went through and weeded out about a hundred spam and porn blogs from my last 500 or so follows. In a longitudinal study of Porn Blogs Following Me I have reached three conclusions:

1) People wearing sports bras, porn blogs have done you dirty. I’m sorry they are sullying the sports bra like this. They are there for your boobs and not my gaze!

2) Something on my blog recently implied to the Great Pornbot AI Collective that I’m into chastity. I promise, with the amount of porn I write, if I had a chastity kink you would all know about it, but I’m glad I can still confuse an algorithm.

3) The recent preponderance of porn blogs reblogging Good Omens and/or David Tennant content between spammy scam ads in an attempt to appear like a real person runs the blog leads me to believe that this may be Crowley’s doing. It demonstrates both a cunning insight into the human condition and a simultaneous total lack of understanding of one’s target audience.

In summary, porn blogs are the work of a sexually frustrated demon with undergarment issues. In this essay I will…

I meant block, but that’s basically what blocking does – you don’t show up in their dash so they never see your posts, they disappear from the “following you” list and you disappear from their “following” list, and they can’t reblog from you (or, I think, reblog content originally posted by you, but on that one I’m less sure). Functionally there’s no difference between blocking someone and forcible defriending them from you. 

But on mobile it’s also super easy to report them for spam and inappropriate content – you go to their blog, hit the little person icon, hit “report” and choose the reason, then hit “block”. (It takes a few more clicks on desktop.) Which hopefully also kills the blog, not that two more won’t just pop up in its place. 

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fruitgoat replied to your post “I got bored this morning…”

I just about fell out of bed laughing at good onans. So thanks for that.

janedrewfinally replied to your post “I got bored this morning…”

Sam, that last tag is brilliant and also how dare you some of us were trying to drink coffee.

col1999 replied to your post “I got bored this morning…”

#more like good onans amirite Sam. It’s way too early to assault my eyes with this nonsense. Especially when it makes me lol - I don’t need that level of shame at 6 in the morning!

I can only hope that during Merry Month Of Masturbation/May this year at least one person will write a fanfic titled Good Onans. 

col1999 replied to your post “Hello Mr. Sam! I’m fifteen and a half and really enjoy your stories! I…”

“There will always be things you regret doing or not doing, but that will be true for every age you ever are.” This.

I think that’s actually the most important thing I wanted Anon to take away from the post to be honest. There will always be another Trouser Leg of Time to go down but since it will always be there, there’s not much point worrying. 

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thechekhov:

In russian, we call this колбасит which translates roughly to ‘I’m sausages’ and i think thats beautiful

I always know that I’m getting sick when I think “I want to watch [visual media I’ve loved in the past]” and then I put it on the screen and hit play and am immediately enraged by it. Getting mad at movies I usually love, that’s how I know. 

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I took this photo because, even though it’s difficult to tell, Dearborn is adorably holding her back paw with her front paw while she washes it. But the rest of the photo is really what makes it…

Yes, Polkadot, you are very adorable too, I promise.

[Description: two versions of the same image. In the top one Dearborn is lying on the duvet washing a back paw held in her front paw like the cutest muppet ever. In the second image, the top of the photo is uncropped, revealing Polk lying on her back with her head curled cutely, one eye watching the camera, like a sibling who wants all the attention.]

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I got bored this morning and noticed a bunch of new follower notifications from last night, so I went through and weeded out about a hundred spam and porn blogs from my last 500 or so follows. In a longitudinal study of Porn Blogs Following Me I have reached three conclusions:

1) People wearing sports bras, porn blogs have done you dirty. I’m sorry they are sullying the sports bra like this. They are there for your boobs and not my gaze!

2) Something on my blog recently implied to the Great Pornbot AI Collective that I’m into chastity. I promise, with the amount of porn I write, if I had a chastity kink you would all know about it, but I’m glad I can still confuse an algorithm.

3) The recent preponderance of porn blogs reblogging Good Omens and/or David Tennant content between spammy scam ads in an attempt to appear like a real person runs the blog leads me to believe that this may be Crowley’s doing. It demonstrates both a cunning insight into the human condition and a simultaneous total lack of understanding of one’s target audience.

In summary, porn blogs are the work of a sexually frustrated demon with undergarment issues. In this essay I will…

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Tag yourself, I’m the creeping suspicion that we don’t deserve Mark Hamill. 

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lololovescheese:

@copperbadge next paycheck I’m going back for the red raspberry wasabi!!!

I’ve had raspberry wasabi mustard – not that one, probably, but a version, and it’s really good! The berry cuts the heat a bit.

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we-are-but-dust-and-shadows replied to your post “drgaellon replied to your post “morbidlyqueerious: tryxyhijinks: …”
Chocolate and corn flavored white rabbit candy seem blasphemous. I’ve only seen red bean and matcha but I think classic is still the best. I also really like the edible rice paper wrapped around the candy
RED BEAN, that was the other one. I grabbed a few red bean ones, but I couldn’t remember what flavor they were later. 

Sadly, in America they appear to have done away with the edible rice paper. Or at least the two I’ve eaten so far didn’t have it. I was disappointed! 

pale-chartreuse replied to your post “Hello Mr. Sam! I’m fifteen and a half and really enjoy your stories! I…”

Oooh, also, be like Sam. Learn how to keep and maintain several internet aliases. It will save you no end of grief and friend drama!

It’s true that having at least one username that very few to no people in brickspace know about can be extremely cathartic. Don’t vent about your friends or family where they can find you! :D 

dreamwaffles replied to your post “Hello Mr. Sam! I’m fifteen and a half and really enjoy your stories! I…”

oh man Sam, 1) this was great, and 2) I have acquired a 20 year old duckling and I’m like…..Is This Parenting so this was also timely for *me*  (the duckling is a person)
Aw, congrats on your very own Large Duckling! Parenting is rough but at least one that big can usually feed themselves :D

scarecrowqueen replied to your post “Hello Mr. Sam! I’m fifteen and a half and really enjoy your stories! I…”

As the parent of a teenager, I just wanted to tell you that this was great advice to give to a teenager. 10/10, well done Mr. Sam.

Oh good. I was worried. I haven’t been one in a really long time! 

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