estj: will go out of their way to make sure you are supported emotionally as well as physically
istj: has some of the best and funniest sarcasm you will ever hear
esfj: has a deep-rooted sense of adventure and embraces new experiences
isfj: will constantly surprise you with how creative and resourceful they are
estp: will never back down from defending what they believe is right
istp: care deeply about everyone’s well-being, even if they mask it behind a guise of nonchalance
esfp: has laser focus on the things and people they deem most important to them
isfp: are unflinchingly loyal and devoted to the people they care about
entj: has some of the best and most well-timed humor you’ll ever hear
intj: embrace their creative side as well as their logical side
entp: are always (ALWAYS) ready to cheer their loved ones up with a well-timed joke
intp: have an incredibly strong internal idea of right and wrong about the topics that matter most to them
enfj: are unafraid to stand up when they know what everyone needs (even if it means forgoing the coddling)
infj: are intellects at heart and crave the pursuit of knowledge
enfp: will stay up until three am discussing about the complex mysteries of the universe with you
infp: are as sharply analytical as they are emotionally aware and empathetic
Okay I keep thinking about that one post by istj-hedonist about how and why sx-blinds are seen as shallow and empty, which makes sense. Sx-blinds can’t even defend themselves because the shallowness/emptiness is inherent in their interactions between themselves and others. Maybe not to the extreme that they are usually seen as, but it’s definitely there
However, I keep questioning exactly what shallowness and emptiness can be defined as. So-blinds always vent about how horrible sx-blinds are, but I’m still having trouble understanding where they think the shallowness lies. This is probably due to the fact that I am sx-blind, but I honestly think that’s…..really hypocritical?? Like, from an sx-blind perspective, so-blinds pull the same stupid stuff that sx-blinds pull, but in a smaller group and to an elitist and invasive extent. And it’s frustrating not being able to understand why it’s different?
So-blinds obviously have a right to complain because yeah, sx-blinds can be pretty weird and cruel. But it seems like in a lot of their explanations of sx, they seem to think for whatever reason it’s less shallow just because it’s shallow in a different way. Bc tbh, sx looks shallow in a lot of ways to me, just different from how so does. People in general look shallow to me and tbh I don’t get the point of so-blinds comparing sx-blinds to them as extreme degrees lower than them in the shallow department
I’m probably totally misinterpreting so-blind behavior?? I might be viewing it with an so lens I guess. Idk
I talk to you about this a lot lol
First of all sx doms and sx blinds are going to have miscommunications, because we prioritize different things. And it’s going to take a LOT of effort for one to understand the other.
Could you further explain why you think so blinds are shallow?
For me, the shallowness of soc lies within its interpretation of people. From my perception, sx blinds see people as a role to fill, and that’s sort of where it ends. I was chatting up an ESTP sx blind the other night, and he very articulate about how he thinks of other people in terms of what they can do for him. He talks with professionals in his field of study because he knows that they have something to offer him. And he believes that he has something to offer them. That’s it. He talks to everyone in order to achieve a goal. All are the same. No one is special or meaningful. He straight up told me that his goal of talking to me was because I’m an interesting conversationalist. This is slightly flattering bc he said I was interesting, but otherwise, I do not trust him, because I know that to him, I am nothing but a means to an end.
To an ennea 4, and to a lesser extent sx, this is DEEPLY offensive. Ennea 4 wants things to have significance, particularly themselves. We don’t want to be boiled down to “this is what your purpose is” because we feel it trivializes our entire identity. We want to be understood, and we want to understand and relate to others. Whenever we talk to people, it’s because we want to know them and who they are. Most of us genuinely love the few people we put effort into. That person’s existence is fulfilling, that’s all I want. It’s not about what this person can do for me, it’s about “is this person somebody I’m willing to make sacrifices for?” I’m willing to stand with The Chosen Ones come hell or high water, and the idea ditching somebody because they’ve outlived their usefulness disgusts me.
That’s not to say I’m against taking on a role: I’m usually the friend people go to for relationship advice, or just because they think I‘m fun. I’m absolutely ok with this, provided the person is willing to understand me on an intimate level and appreciates me as an individual; not just the service I provide for them.
Lol yeah, there’s a lot that can be discussed on instinctual variants, especially with all the different perspectives available
Sx is shallow to me because it’s cliquish. I mean, so-doms can be kinda cliquish too but it’s in an impersonal why-aren’t-you-with-us way instead of a personal I-think-you’re-a-useless-person way. I’ve seen this behavior more in sx-doms, but basically, if someone doesn’t immediately catch their interest/fit the perception of what they want they don’t think they’re worth the time. They make snap judgments over maybe the first two conversations you have with them and if you’re not looking alluringly mysterious and/or wowing them or their clique immediately, you have nothing to offer them.
I think that’s shallow, because so-blinds as much as they take the time to really know people also have no qualms about writing someone off from the get-go when they haven’t even done anything yet?? I don’t really get it honestly. Why can’t people be allowed to be boring sometimes? Like I know you said that you don’t understand why sx-blinds can throw people away - which they do, and often cruely - but so-blinds do the same thing from my perspective, hence why it looks hypocritical to me.
I know sp-doms can be pretty judgmental too, but from what I’ve seen, they can observe for a while before arriving to their conclusion of whether or not someone is friend material
I know what you mean with the goals thing. I guess it goes back to that “using” idea we had talked about before. I’m not trying to get anything out of anyone besides some friendly company, but sometimes sx-users take offense because that means I’m not always interested in being personal with them. Being personal is hard for me and I hate that it’s taken as me using them if I don’t want to share something
The thing with roles is complicated. Because in a way your friend is right, but I think it depends on a lot of factors. I personally don’t see people as a means to an end, unless for whatever reason I’ve lost all faith in a group I was forced into lol. People are people?? Idk if maybe since my Fe is higher than his that’s why my view is different, but…I have a 4 wing and 4 fix too and I hate me and other people not being respected as individuals, so I 100% see why you have a problem with how sx-blinds treat people sometimes.
That sort of pressure to be something specific appears much more common in so/sp than sp/so from my experience, because so-doms are all about social standards, but idk who you might be hanging around. Because of my so-fix I want to be liked but I don’t see the point in being fake about it, I just try to find people that respect my space and my interests and I do my best to respect theirs. Idk tbh I’m worried about your ESTP so/sp friend bc I’m glad he’s being honest but I don’t like the idea of using people and the fact that he embraces it concerns me but…whatever, his life, wish him the best
Sidenote, so/sps can be either the most harmless or the most scary people I’ve come into contact with. They’re an interesting bunch lol
Idk it sometimes looks like so-blinds want us to be traditional, empty human shells so it validates their “I hate society” view. Even without an Edgy™ ennea 4 fix so-blinds look like that and it’s honestly pretty annoying and cringe. Just because there are things that society expects doesn’t mean that all of them are always wrong? I saw someone talk about how so-blinds are the most likely to wear crocs unironically in public and I know it was a joke but if we want to take that general principle and apply it to a societal rule I think it still stands
Ok so….no. I don’t make snap judgements about people. I usually watch people from a distance and then based upon that, I’ll decide if I want to approach them. Or sometimes I wait for them to approach me. It’s not like I see someone and immediately form an opinion. It’s kinda like I wait for a reason to like somebody. Otherwise I’m indifferent. It does take a couple of conversations before I decide if I like someone. I’m fine with people being boring. My best ISFP friend is boring as hell, but we hit it off because of a mutual interest.
It essentially boils down to: I don’t know this person, I have no emotional connection to this person, there is no reason for me to care
And how is it throwing someone away if there was never a relationship to begin with? It’s significantly less cruel because there was no emotional connection. Can’t be sad about something that never existed (and if you are, it’s super weird. I guess that’s where the sx blind “stalking” comes in??? ESTP was telling me about this girl who emotionally screwed him up, and they never even dated. They just had a deep connection. That was also weird to me. Or people who get caught up over someone they only saw for a month)
Why do you think disregarding someone with whom you have no emotional connection is just as shallow as ditching someone with whom you were close?
and it’s not that we want sx blinds to be mindless drones. We just don’t care. We don’t think about things like that.
Okay, I understand now. I was just misinterpreting the behavior then, sorry about that and thanks for clearing that up. From an sx-blind perspective, it’s throwing someone away because every person is considered a potential relationship in some form, and it seems odd to us that it doesn’t appear that so-blinds give more people a chance. Maybe they do internally, but soc is all about how social connections work, which requires a more public effort that we do not see in so-blinds. So, it looked like to me that so-blinds were making immediate judgments and “throwing people away” when they aren’t, not from their view. Whoops
And yes, sx-blind stalking comes from this same idea, because whoever the sx-blind ends up obsessed with is a potential relationship that for whatever reason wasn’t acted or worked upon - yet. That’s some weird, gross stuff that some sx-blinds really need to work on.
I think that’s why shallowness is seen differently? Sx-blinds may not have an emotional connection to someone at first, but they don’t think they won’t be a potential connection at some other point unless that person does something that really bothers them, so it looks shallow when so-blinds don’t stretch much beyond their friend group since it looks like they’re judging people on the surface. And that looks shallow to sx, because then it looks like from the outside it’s only about roles and goal-relevance when we like keeping our relationship options open, if that makes sense.
I can’t really defend the throwing people away when there’s an emotional connection. I worded it in a way that conveyed that I believed it was equivalent, but it is not; my intent was to make the point that so-blinds aren’t called out enough for their hypocrisy (my apparent sx-blind view of hypocrisy, not that necessarily they really were being hypocrites). I don’t really know what to say to that, tbh. It sounds horrible but if someone is that easily thrown away by an sx-blind, especially by an so/sp, it probably meant that something about them conflicted with the interests of the sx-blind, one of the people changed dramatically, or that they weren’t even friends in the first place. Y I K E S how do people manage to do that do they not realize how hurtful and by extension counterproductive that is to their goals of social relevance
unless,, nobody in their social circle liked that person BIG YIKE
About the drones comment: you’re right, I should have thought about that more. I doubt most sx-blinds care as you said, but some especially unhealthy obnoxious ones really like being super judgy for no good reason just to validate their self-perception. Some so-blinds are pretty obsessed with society just as how some sx-blinds are pretty obsessed with the idea of sx intimacy, and that’s super annoying lol
does anyone else secretly have that “i liked it before it was cool” complex but wont admit it
it’s more along the lines of “you guys were fucking making fun of me for liking this before it was cool” kinda complex
Also a “I super excitedly tried to show this to you years ago and you brushed it off and now you think you introduced it to me and that is infuriating” kinda complex
I can’t believe that the two greatest party songs of all time (I Gotta Feeling and Party Rock Anthem) came out within two years of each other and mankind will never create a better party song
Some people have been defending various other party songs in the notes, and while I respect all of your opinions, the only song that can qualify as a POTENTIAL exception is Tik Tok by Ke$ha
What about Allstar, great for every occasion
All Star is, in my opinion, the Greatest Song of All Time™ and while it great for every occasion, the three above are the best suited for parties. Like rich chocolate is good for every dessert, but milk goes better with Oreos than more chocolate, ya know?
I was not ready for such an educated response but completely agree
I come prepared for this discourse
7:10 am: ISFJ - Waking up on a sunny morning, the sun rays streaming through your curtains.
7:40 am: ISFP - Still trying to wake yourself up after one too many snooze button. Making yourself a cup of coffee and people watching through your kitchen window.
8:00 am: ISTP - Waking up your body by doing some morning yoga and going for a little jog.
9:00 am: ENTJ - Flipping through your agenda to make sure everything is planned and still on track for the day.
9:15 am: ESTJ - Getting ready for the day! Making sure everything looks in place and on fleek. Choosing the perfect outfit that says professional yet is comfortable.
10:00 am: ENTP - Walking to the bus stop, music blasting, hair in the wind.
10:15 am: ENFJ - Saying hi to that stranger on the bus that looks a little bit sad.
10:30 am: ESFP - Meeting with friends at a coffee shop, planning when you’re going to go out this weekend.
12:00 am: ENFP - Going to that cute trendy/hipster neighborhood to grab lunch and checking out that new thrift store.
2:00 pm: ISTJ - Getting back home to finish that lab report that’s due next week and putting in an hour of studying.
4:00 pm: ESFJ - Baking some cookies for that study group tomorrow.
4:45 pm: INTJ - Sitting in your favourite chair and reading a book about molecular biology just for fun.
5:15 pm: INTP - Ending up on Youtube watching videos on molecular biology and is now in a Youtube black hole.
6:00 pm: ESTP - Going indoor rock climbing to put in a little workout before dinner.
7:30 pm: INFP - Going to dinner with that one INTJ bestfriend, convincing them to try that new vegan spot.
9:00 pm: INFJ - Reading in bed, reflecting on the day and taking time to write in your journal before falling asleep.
Ones want everything in their life to be orderly and correct. Their need for perfection puts them in an active state, as they strive to achieve perfection and try to make everything in their life “the way it should be”. Unfortunately, Ones have probably the most unachievable goal of all types as having zero issues in every field of your life is quite impossible. This unfortunate desire makes Ones unaccepting of the world around them. As their health level drops things become more difficult for them, and for the people around them.
An average One is unhappy with the truth and they think that it’s their duty to control or change the way things work. They strive for perfection in their personality, and as this need grows, they become more and more detail-oriented, uptight, systematic and meticulous. They correct the people around them and try to force them to fit into their own high standards. They constantly criticize people, and they criticize themselves in their own head even more. Therefore they take their own feelings and instincts under control, believing that showing these is “wrong”. This makes them frustrated towards others because they are doing everything they can to be their best self and achieve perfection whereas some people aren’t even trying. Their repressed emotions turn into anger, but Ones don’t think of themselves as an angry person, they think that they are just trying to make everything better. Their anger is because of their dissatisfaction of how they are and how the truth is. Nothing is ever good enough for them, they start seeing everything around them as mistakes which should be corrected. They can’t take criticism because they already justified their own actions in their heads.
Unhealthy Ones think that they have the right to punish people who are “wrong” because that’s how everything can made be “right”. While they appear cold-hearted, they are also dissatisfied with themselves. They scrutiny themselves and see every little “wrong” thing they ever did. In their minds, they will never be good enough which makes them think that they should punish themselves too. Nervous breakdowns and suicide attempts are possible.
Type 1: “I’m right most of the time and the world would be a better place if people just listened to me.”
Type 2: “I’m always loving and caring towards others but no one really likes me as much as I like them, I feel worthless.”
Type 3: “I’m a great person but other people are jealous of me instead of just appreciating me.”
Type 4: “I’m different than others and I feel like I never fit anywhere.”
Type 5: “I’m clever and knowledgeable but most people can’t understand what I understand and that’s why they don’t see the importance of my knowledge.”
Type 6: “I’m a trustworthy person and I do what I have to do but most people aren’t like that.”
Type 7: “I’m a happy person but I would be even happier if I could just get everything I want.”
Type 8: “I’m fighting throughout my entire life, and people would use me for their own advantage if I allowed them to.”
Type 9: “I’m okay with how things are in my life but people put pressure on me to change who I am.”