My real name is Tracey (pronouns she/hers/her/herself), and I'm a freelance editor (fifty-two books in the past 7 years), a sometime book critic and a novelist working towards publication. Straddling the line between Generation Jones and Gen X.






















english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco


english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

French: pamplemousse
English: :)
French: pls no
English: raisinfruit

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

english: helicopter

german: :)

english: uh oh

german: lifting screwdriver

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

english: bowl

spanish: :)

english: oh lordy

spanish: deep plate

english: car

polish: :)

english: i changed my mind

polish:  that which walks by itself

french: coccinelle

UK english: ladybird!

american english: ladybug

french: weird

dutch: :)

french: …what

dutch: the good lord’s little animal

french: …ok

irish, polish and russian: *giggling*

french: …just tell me

irish, polish and russian: GOD’S SMALL COW

English: jellyfish
Japanese: :)
English: what yo got Japan
Japanese: ~*~*o c e a n m o o n*~*~

English: gloves
Dutch: :)
English: omg what now
Dutch: hand shoes

English: porcupine
Dutch: :)
English: … please, no
Dutch: sting pig


English: Poppy

Dutch: :)

English: … tell me

Dutch: Clap rose

English: dragon

Finnish: :)

English: for fuck’s sake

Finnish: salmon snake

english: dragon

asl: :D!

english: tell me?


english: turtle

swedish: :3

english: ???

swedish: shield toad

English: fox

Irish: :)

English: oh god what now

Irish: just kidding this one’s actually fox

English: oh, okay, thank go-

Irish: unless you wanna call it a Little Ginger Dog, that’s cool too

English: what the fUCK

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Mists of Avalon--Blurb [SPORKERS: Idiotalchemist, ZeldaQueen, and Gehayi]

Mists of Avalon–Blurb

In which the blurb writer describes an infinitely more interesting book than Mists of Avalon. Why couldn’t we read that book?

NO CONTENT WARNINGS! (How did that happen?)

(If you want to catch up, the Table of Contents is available here, along with links to every review we’ve done on this book so far.)

Note: This book’s critique may be hard for anyone who has suffered because of incest, pedophilia, or rape. There is a great deal of normalization of these crimes in Mists, as well as a huge amount of rape apologia, and we three critics spend a lot of time tearing all of this apart. Check the content warnings for each chapter, make your own judgments…and please be safe.

Mists of Avalon–Blurb

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Please for the love of god don’t scroll past this.

My fiancé, my best friend, my confidant of nearly four years, @dietcola died Monday afternoon, and I’m so fucking desperate to be present at his memorial service and funeral. I need your help so badly.

It’s going to cost $200 for me to be able to leave at midnight tonight and make it in time for services on Friday. I cannot bear the thought of not being able to say goodbye to him in person. Please, please, if you can donate anything or offer any help of any kind, message me.

My paypal is and even the smallest amount helps.

Please, please, please help me.

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i found a christian retelling of the first harry potter book and it claims that birthdays are unholy and are made up

some highlights

  • Ron is a Slytherin
  • Draco is a Ravenclaw AND a mysogonist
  • Snape isn’t a cunt and is really nice and caring towards Harry
  • Angels have replaced owls
  • Dean Thomas is a main character for no reason
  • Dumbledore isn’t gay and is married to a woman and is ALSO Hermionies dad
  • It doesn’t take place in the UK for some reason
  • Wizard duels are now called pray-offs

I’ll add more when i read more


  • Harry converts Draco into being a Gryffindor (who are depicted as pitch perfect Christians who follow the bible closely and only take orders from God)
  • Eco friendly-ness is bad apparently
  • Voldemort has hair
  • Believing in evolution is apparently Satanic
  • Voldemort wanted to make Christianity ILLEGAL
  • Voldemort ALSO has a Reddit account
  • Dumbledore calls Reddit a “godless coven”
  • Harry says that Voldemort has been tricked by the lies of society and that he deserves to burn in hell 
  • ““I’m just so upset that you don’t accept the Bible,” Hermionie sobbed femininely. “The Bible is the best book ever. Why can’t you respect that?”“
  • Voldemort is described as a fornicating, drug-addicted evolutionist (Actually, this is what the author says that all Evolutionists are like this)

I can’t believe i found a fic to rival My Immortal

This is some anti My Immortal shit

how does one sob femininely? 


I love you thank you

Dumbledore is married to McGonagall.

There are several paragraphs describing beloved fictional characters’ chest hair.

Slytherins are Catholics.

Petunia wears pant suits.

“Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry’s young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, “Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. “

Reblog if you don’t need religion because you have science socialism and birthdays

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This is a way bigger problem than people seem to realize, and sales reps for cable companies will set up an account in a child’s name knowing full well they’re under 18. Just to get a sale.

Every cable company has a fraud department, if this happened to you call customer service for the company your account was opened with and file a complaint. They are required by law to expunge the debt.

I will always reblog this shit when I see it. Why? Because this happened to me when I first moved out on my own and would have ruined my life if I didn’t have supportive friends and roommates with better credit scores. My mom ran up a ton of bills in my name and got a hold of an unused checkbook of mine, writing checks on an account I never touched anymore. I moved out on my own and found I had a credit score in the 300s and tons of debt. I was already homeless at the time; luckily I was moving into an apartment with a friend with a much higher credit score and enough money in savings to cover the subsequent security deposits, trusting me to pay her back since she knew me already and knew I had a job.

How to fix this:

1. Cut that asshole out of your life. You don’t need someone who doesn’t give a shit that they’ve ruined your adult life. If they say they’re sorry, let’s be real - they’re probably not. They’re just fucking sorry they got caught. Fuck them.

2. Pull a yearly credit report (for free at and consider paying out the money to lock down your credit so people need to get approval before opening a new line of credit in your name. 

3. Write the companies for more information on the debt and to dispute it, letting them know that it’s an identity theft issue. If you were underage at the time, they will need some sort of proof but they will have to remove it. Do all of this via Certified Mail with Return Receipt. Keep all documentation including copies of letters, tracking numbers, etc. well organized. I recommend scanning everything as well and saving copies onto some sort of cloud storage just in case anything happens to your physical copies (but definitely keep those physical copies as well, *at least* for eleven years after disputing. Sometimes those debts sneak back on there two or three years later. Sometimes you have to get lawyers involved if any of those companies take you to court. Lawyers will want physical copies of your physical copies if possible.)

4. Report it to the police and FTC (for the Americans in the crowd.) If you’ve moved out of the same county/state that your parent lives in or that you lived in at the time, this may get tricky af. If the local police department is overloaded and understaffed, they’ll try to push you off to another county. Be patient and persistent. File in as many places as you can. Yes, identity theft is a crime. There is a chance that your parent will be arrested, particularly if they have priors. You’ve got to be prepared to do what you have to do. A lot of times it does go unpunished though. I know in my case it did. My mom continues to do this with others in her life. The police have done nothing and she’s not learned her lesson at all. At least my credit score is mostly fixed though. You can access the FTC’s identity theft information here:

5. If you’ve been taken to court on anything, you will need to get a lawyer. If you’re low income, check with the local or state bar association to see what options you have for a free or discounted legal service. If you are a college student, even part time, you may have access to free legal services through your college. If you have to pay to hire an attorney, it is worth the cost to dispute it. Depending on how much debt it is and what state it occurred in, you could be stuck with that for 20 years. There’s also a chance that they can take anything you own (like your car) to cover that debt if you live in the same state. Get it cleared out. You do not want your life to be a total fucking disaster all the way into your late 30s/early 40s. (And trust me - if you don’t get your credit cleared up, it will be. You will be disqualified from certain jobs - even some retail positions! You will struggle to get housing. Everything you do that involves credit will cost more money - turning on electricity, getting an apartment, getting your own cell phone account, buying a car, getting vehicle or renters insurance… 

Until everything is fixed, there is definitely a feeling that the entire world is out to get you and that you will never get caught up. Please stay on top of this and get that shit straightened out. 

I’m not a lawyer so my info only comes from my own personal experience and not any sort of actual training in this. However, if anyone is going through this and ever wants to talk to someone who has been there before, feel free to hit me up. Again, not a lawyer so can’t really give legal advice but am always happy to give support and remind you to drop toxic people from your life, no matter who they are or how they’re related to you.

You can also get free ongoing credit monitoring via Credit Karma.

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Grave Peril--Chapter 19 [SERIES: Dresden Files; REVIEWER: Gehayi]

Grave Peril–Chapter 19

In which Harry Dresden fails to tell a friend she’s in danger, Murphy becomes the damsel in distress (at least for this chapter), and the villain seems to be the most competent person present.

Content Warning

warning: sexism

Grave Peril–Chapter 19

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absolutely love in school where theyre like “this child is obviously mentally ill but they get good grades so who cares”

and then theyre like “well they suddenly got bad grades so they will be sent to the counselors once, then no one will ever talk about it again”

See also “this child gets bad grades and acts up but we can’t imagine why except they must just be a bad person who sucks”

Related, “this child is getting atrocious grades and is having meltdowns on a daily basis but our tests say they have a genius IQ so IN THE ADVANCED CLASSES THEY STAY”

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Honestly, if you see an angel that’s all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it’s going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you’re seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility.

I woke up today with the phrase “spooky scary seraphim” in my head today, looks like we’re on the same wavelength.

i made a new christmas carol


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I love the Hogwarts founders.

No, this is right.

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Headcanon: Rincewind is asexual.

After who-knows-how-long alone on an island (except for the Luggage, of course), three women appear and offer him sensual pleasures… and he wants mashed potatoes.

I think this is actually canon.

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It is the year after the Battle of Hogwarts. School is starting again. And the thestrals are confused by all of the attention they are getting.


oh no



No. NO. Sit the fuck down, we’re going to talk about this.

The year after the Battle of Hogwarts. Students nervously climbing into the carriages (no first years, thank god, no one wants to think about that) and eyeing the creatures in front of them. Is this some sort of stunt? Like a memorial?

Hagrid showing the fifth years the thestrals. He wonders if he should, if this is asking too much, but he thinks it would be wrong to keep the truth from them. There are more in the class who can see them than those who can’t.

He wakes to a knock on his door after nightfall. For a second he thinks it’s those three again, but no, that’s not right. He shuffles to the door, holding Fang down behind him, and finds a wide-eyed second year on his doorstep. They came to ask about the horses.

Hagrid isn’t one to turn someone away, so he ushers the child inside and puts the kettle on. He explains they’re not quite horses. They’re gentle creatures, really. Yes, you have to…you have to have seen things to see them, too. But they wouldn’t do anyone harm.

Can he see them? Why, yes, he can, has for the longest time. Ever since his Dad…ever since…

Hagrid stops for a moment, unable to speak. But the child at his table waits patiently, understanding. This is not the first time they have heard someone’s voice catch on the words. It’s reassuring, somehow, hearing an adult share the same problem.

They drink a pot of tea before Hagrid sees the kid back to the school, Fang loping along beside them. It’s reassuring to have these two massive, almost comical forms tromping to the front door. Safe.

Hagrid warns not to go out after dark again. If you want to visit, come along any time in the day.

The next time he opens his door, there are three. Third years, this time. They know a little more, more than they ought to, he thinks. Makes him feel nostalgic.

He sits them down as before and has a long talk. They’re less open, keep glancing at each other as they speak, but he can see they have questions. It’s just a matter of waiting them out.

This goes on for weeks. Hagrid sees a steady stream of students at his door until he’s sure at least half the school has walked across his mat at some point. One day McGonagall approaches him and suggests a change in the curriculum. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to move a few things up on the syllabus? If he’s willing, of course.

Hagrid leads more students into the forest. He sees their faces, eyes wide with fear, as they see the creatures in the light of day. He patiently explains that they’re quiet animals, don’t much like a lot of noise. Easier to manage, certainly. That’s why they pull the school carriages.

He finds taking them once isn’t enough. Students keep asking to see the thestrals. Bewildered, he takes them back again and again, watching as the kids sidle up to stroke the long, black wings. They hold out bits of meat to the sharp beaks and whisper calming words under their breath.

Gradually, the looks of fear subside into something else. More than once he hears someone say these things are all right. Kids show up at his doorstep to ask about what he does and what kinds of animals he’s seen. Someone even says they might like to be a teacher like he is someday.

He doesn’t know what to say to that. His eyes glisten and he makes a sound like a trumpet as he blows his nose. He hears a giggle when he knocks over the umbrella stand with his elbow.

Things have changed, he thinks. He leads children into the forest because they ask, not because they’ve been punished. Students are clambering to get into his classes when it used to be seen as a last resort. People don’t stare up at him with suspicion or fear when he walks the halls these days.

They aren’t afraid of monsters anymore. They fear the people who become them.

holy shit, woman

 d u d e

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Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

I got a check for $1697 a week after I reblogged this. The fuq.

OMG that’s fucking amazing! 😎

Ay, rob @charlie-is-my-constant

I got a bonus from my boss for 2500 and I WAS NOT expecting that. the most high is great

I got 90 dollars back from xfinity! Today!!!!

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Also, I love amazon, but if I have to give it up for universal health care and free tuition? Fuck it, I’mma gonna go back to the stores and brace the masses in a heartbeat


Bezos would still have 49 billion dollars, more money than he could ever spend no matter how hard he tried. That’s hardly taking “all his money”.


If you take bezos money, his service would cease to exist.

And so would your utopia.


If Elizabeth Warren’s wealth tax had been in place from 1982, Jeff Bezos would still have had a net worth of 49 billion dollars, and Bill Gates would have had 14 billion dollars.

In exchange for that, all Americans would have been granted universal child- and healthcare. Student debt would be regularly relieved, and the federal education budget would be 4 times larger.

Vote as if lives depend on it. Because they do.

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Signs of a heart attack are different for each gender yet we only really teach the male warning signs. Make sure you’re aware of both and spread it to as many other women as possible!

EVERY SINGLE TIME I HAVE TAKEN A CPR CLASS I have had to be that person who points out that the training videos ALWAYS frame the “male” symptoms as the default universal heart attack experience, while the “female” symptoms are framed as though they’re a deviation from the norm, rather than the primary symptom set that cis women experience. 

ALSO: I just showed this post to my roommate, who is an MD at a clinic that specializes in care for the LGBT community in the Baltimore area. I asked her  whether hormones were responsible for the difference in the “male/female” symptom arrays. I asked how that would apply to her trans patients (which, she treats a LOT of trans patients). She said, basically, that the longer you’ve taken testosterone the more likely you are to get the intense chest pressure and the arm pain, versus the upper back pressure and shortness of breath.

Obviously I am not a doctor myself, consult your own health care provider, etc.

Reblogging this comment because this is the FIRST TIME I’ve ever seen someone address what XYZ medical condition would look like in trans patients. Also this is partly why my great-grandma died: the (male) doctor dismissed her heart attack as basically indigestion, because she didn’t have the typical male symptoms.

Oh my God someone was able to answer the trans patient question!

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I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”

we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,


i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

I work with horses and whenever someone’s driving too fast I’ll say stuff like “whoa” and I’ve tried to click to a car because that’s a cue for a horse to go faster.

My aunt was a kindergarten teacher and when she was trying to gather everyone at a family reunion for prayer she called “One two three, eyes on me” and then exclaimed “oh! It works on adults!”

I used to do food demos in grocery stores

The script was “Would you like to try a freshly made Lay’s potato chip made in the last 24 hours? Come and taste the freshness!”

Which got shortened to “Would you like a fresh Lay today?”

And after the first time, I just took that dirty joke and ran with it. It’s was a Co-op full of seniors, they loved it.

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he did THAT

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Can’t reblog this enough.

Not the way I figured it would turn out, but I learned something here.

This is called Trophic Cascade in ecology.

This is also called

Wolves are IRL waterbenders #confirmed

It’s almost like.. If you leave natural species in their natural habitats and don’t take every once of the earth for humans… Nature would like.. Nature? The circle of life? The balance that’s been kept since the beginning of time on the planet?? Novel.

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Mists of Avalon--Epilogue [SPORKERS: Idiotalchemist, ZeldaQueen, and Gehayi]

Mists of Avalon–Epilogue


Oh, and according to the text, Catholics worship statues/the Mother Goddess, and the book was–say it with me–


  • warning: classism
  • warning: controversial issues
  • warning: death/possible death
  • warning: do not want
  • warning: potential triggers
  • warning: racism

(If you want to catch up, the Table of Contents is available here, along with links to every review we’ve done on this book so far.)

Note: This book’s critique may be hard for anyone who has suffered because of incest, pedophilia, or rape. There is a great deal of normalization of these crimes in Mists, as well as a huge amount of rape apologia, and we three critics spend a lot of time tearing all of this apart. Check the content warnings for each chapter, make your own judgments…and please be safe.

Mists of Avalon–Epilogue

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