All my followers do is own me on every post I make
im sorry the doctor made you pay for the removal but you dont need to subtweet him
If I were a doctor and someone came to me to have a Pickle Rick tattoo removed I wouldn’t charge them. It would be inhumane for me to make them go on like that
A crustacean: *exists*
so this IS peak performance
My favorite thing about evolution is that it’s tried to make crabs on at least 4 different occasions independently of previous species
my fave thing about alligators is that evolution was just like.. “yeah that’s fine” and left them for 80 million years
this has happened to me four times now. where nurses have almost killed me. lmao tellin doctors im just looking for pain killers
theyll be like “she doesnt show any signs of pain”
sorry my mom didnt raise a little wimp.
the funniest part to me is i wont even be asking for pain killers. ill just be like: 😑i am in the worst pain i have ever experienced and i can feel death closing in. same shit as always lmao. am i right, doreen?
and theyll be like: this bitch just wants opiates im tired of it.
tho i will say it’s fun listening to the doctors yell at them for almost murdering me.
anyway sorry nurses. but when im literally dying i dont got the time or energy to make a show of it for you so you dont fuuucking kill me.
me, going septic: damn sure wish i didn’t have to wait three hours for antiboitics while you nurses are convinced im a drug addict who needs to be ignored, even tho u shouldnt ignore them either tf
lmao so everytime i go to the emergency room i’ll be like “yeah i feel like im literally dying. my pain an agony is unbearable. that’s why im here” but i’ll say it in a really flat calm voice. almost like im bored.
so the nurses will shrug me off run some tests. like ok. whatever drama queen.
then the doctor will come back with the tests, vaguely panicked, like “okay. so you’re dying.” and the nurses will be all shocked and ill be sitting there with my continued bored expression and flat voice like “yea… that’s what ive been saying.”
and the nurses will be like “but you arent ACTING LIKE IT??!!!!”
and im just here like “oh sorry didn’t know this was a fucking final exam in acting class. goddamn.”
nurses. just wondering. can u maybe not be so fucking bitter and hate drug addicts so much that you’d rather have people going into septic shock die than potentially help out an addict? thanks.
Some people never went through an astronomy phase when they were kids and it shows
My friend, whom I love dearly, found out that the moon orbits the earth as a 20-year-old in an upper-level political science class, and was utterly and completely flabbergasted. When questioned, her defense was that she doesn’t have anything to do with the moon, so why would she have needed to know?
I used to be a grader and an occasional substitute prof for an introductory astronomy lab. That means that the majority of the people in this lab are only taking it because it’s a requirement and about half of them think it’s an astrology class.
I was grading midterms and this one girl. She was so nice and I think she was a business major. Fuck. The question on the midterm was to draw a diagram of the solar system and this poor girl. This fucking girl had drawn a Mars-centric solar system. As in every planet and the sun were orbiting Mars. I now actually have a custom Cards Againsy Humanity card I got at a con that says “A Mars-centric solar system”
I had a boy argue with me that there was liquid water on the moon (this was around when they had found liquid water on Mars in ~2015) and he wouldn’t believe me that he likely meant Mars and not the moon. After I marked his answer to the relevant lab question wrong, he took it to the department head who had promptly laughed him out of the office.
And there was another boy who, during a lab in our observatory where we would look at certain things in the sky, asked where the sun was. At 10pm in November. After some questioning it was revealed that he thought the moon and the sun were the same thing.
Imagine god wanting you dead this bad
- The first documented lightning strike of Sullivan occurred in April 1942. He was hiding from a thunderstorm in a fire lookout tower. The tower was newly built and had no lightning rod at the time; it was hit seven or eight times. Inside the tower, “fire was jumping all over the place”. Sullivan ran out and just a few feet away received what he considered to be his worst lightning strike. It burned a half-inch strip all along his right leg, hit his toe, and left a hole in his shoe.
- He was hit again in July 1969. Unusually, he was hit while in his truck, driving on a mountain road—the metal body of a vehicle normally protects people in cases such as this by acting as a Faraday cage. The lightning first hit nearby trees and was deflected into the open window of the truck. The strike knocked Sullivan unconscious and burned off his eyebrows and eyelashes, and set his hair on fire. The uncontrolled truck kept moving until it stopped near a cliff edge.
- In July 1970, Sullivan was struck while in his front yard. The lightning hit a nearby power transformer and from there jumped to his left shoulder, searing it.
- In spring 1972, Sullivan was working inside a ranger station in Shenandoah National Park when another strike occurred. It set his hair on fire; he tried to smother the flames with his jacket. He then rushed to the restroom, but couldn’t fit under the water tap and so used a wet towel instead. Although he never was a fearful man, after the fourth strike he began to believe that some force was trying to destroy him and he acquired a fear of death. For months, whenever he was caught in a storm while driving his truck, he would pull over and lie down on the front seat until the storm passed. He also began to believe that he would somehow attract lightning even if he stood in a crowd of people, and carried a can of water with him in case his hair was set on fire.
- On August 7, 1973, while he was out on patrol in the park, Sullivan saw a storm cloud forming and drove away quickly. But the cloud, he said later, seemed to be following him. When he finally thought he had outrun it, he decided it was safe to leave his truck. Soon after, he was struck by a lightning bolt. Sullivan stated that he actually saw the bolt that hit him. The lightning moved down his left arm and left leg and knocked off his shoe. It then crossed over to his right leg just below the knee. Still conscious, Sullivan crawled to his truck and poured the can of water, which he always kept there, over his head, which was on fire.
- The next strike, on June 5, 1976, injured his ankle. It was reported that he saw a cloud, thought that it was following him, tried to run away, but was struck anyway. His hair also caught fire.
- On Saturday morning, June 25, 1977, Sullivan was struck while fishing in a freshwater pool. The lightning hit the top of his head, set his hair on fire, traveled down, and burnt his chest and stomach. Sullivan turned to his car when something unexpected occurred — a bear approached the pond and tried to steal trout from his fishing line. Sullivan had the strength and courage to strike the bear with a tree branch. He claimed that this was the twenty-second time he hit a bear with a stick in his lifetime.
This shit reads like an SCP entry…
Incredibly Misfortunate Park Ranger