ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is

ISTJ. She/her (call me Em if you need to call me something). No instinctual variants questions. Please read the FAQ. Failure to comply will be met with question deletion and/or snarky answers.

Question:

Sorry, I should've been more clear. I was happy with the answer, on a separate note I was trying to make a point that cognitive issues shouldn't be conflated with having poor self-care and excusing it with "inferior Se", because I'm aware that's present in the MBTI community, and I didn't want people to think that was the case. I was saying that I do practice good self-care aside from cognition but I genuinely get tripped up now and again bc of poor boundaries.

Answer:

Oh okay yeah, that makes sense, and I think the specific case you mentioned (philosophy book) is going to be harder to resist for the type combination you provided than some other potential overextension scenarios.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 2 notes

Question:

Hi, I'm the INTJ anon. Thanks for the reply! I wanted to note that this is a genuine, if rare issue that I experience and that on the whole by making concerted efforts to take care of myself and others since hitting my early twenties I generally live a happy and comfortable life within my limits. I understand it might sound a) bizarre b) an excuse for just being sloppy with being responsible for yourself or c) this is not an mbti issue at all you're just dumb (1)

Answer:

… And I have definitely been ALL of the above, but this… ain’t it. Anyhow, thanks for coming to my TED talk (2)             

————————-

this might be because I am in the state between waking up and drinking coffee but I have no idea what you are getting at and did not willing attend this Ted Talk so uh, if my answer helped I’m glad, if it did not then there’s always the possibility that a. this is a complete one-off situation that means nothing, b. you’re mistyped and a totally different cognitive reason is at play, or c. who knows what else, in which case lacking any further context I have no way to tell which one it is so you will probably do better to figure it out.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 1 notes

Question:

Hi Em, recently I've noticed that I sometimes slip into a habit where I "overwhelm myself" counter intuitively to gain in some area or reset some balance. For instance, I was given a quite hefty tome on philosophy and history that I made a point of trying to blitz through because a) it was genuinely interesting and b) my sis has asked me to read it so I could parse it and explain it to her. But by day 3 I was feeling so overwhelmed and flapped around for so many reasons until my little sis (1)

Answer:

… told me “bro, stop reading that book, you’re pushing yourself too hard”. I felt better and have tried to step down from that feeling of being overwhelmed these past few days. Now i know for sure I’ve done this in the past also, but can’t ascertain why. I’m also more susceptible to doing dumb things like staying up till one because I can in the recovery period. Is this cognitive? I’m an INTJ 5. Thanks! (2)             

—————-

Hi anon,

Assuming your typing is correct, probably. Ni-doms, especially younger ones, are notoriously terrible at assessing their own physical and mental limits.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 4 notes

Just got told the project I was given and told was purely practice for an area I don’t know well and therefore have not prioritized at all was actually for real and important and ideally should be done very soon

Fortunately the person who gave me incorrect expectations is taking responsibility but that did not stop the deep internal ISTJ freak out

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 9 notes

Question:

How can you tell if your actions are cognitive function related or enneagram related? For example, how could I tell if passive aggressive behavior was due to enneagram or a cognitive function? Chances are I'm an enneagram 9, but then I over think it.

Answer:

You can’t really while you’re in the process of typing. For that matter, you can’t tell if that behavior is due to a cognitive function or just how you were raised or the fact that you were having a bad day, which is why typing really needs to be a very holistic process - don’t try to split up your behavior into discrete parts and type each one but rather look at overall trends of behavior.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 8 notes

Question:

Any tips for roleplaying an INTP tiefling warlock (Pact of the Great Old One, Pact of the Tome) and/or an INTP changeling rogue (arcane trickster?)

Answer:

Possibly not what you’re looking for but my biggest piece of advice is don’t assign your character an MBTI type in advance. I tried to do that, and found that it’s limiting and possibly unsustainable, especially if it’s not your own type - I tried to make my character an ESFP only to slowly realize none of the other players had much Te at all, nor did the DM, AND most of the other characters were either passive or else deliberately played as impulsive and I would have absolutely no fun unless someone was like “Ok let’s actually pursue something instead of fucking around endlessly and doing every stupid thing that comes into our heads.” Which isn’t to say that an ESFP can’t have that attitude, but that’s not really how I’m playing it. This is true for D&D and people’s writing for that matter; let the character evolve and then type them, because walking in and saying “I shall play/write this type” is almost certainly not actually going to pan out.

As for the non-MBTI, D&D side, I don’t have anything to say re: tieflings or changelings as I go with the boring common races in D&D; for classes I think the main thing I recommend for roleplaying is really understanding why your character did this - basically, have a decent understanding of your backstory (this also serves as advice for writing and is crucial to letting the character evolve as discussed in the first paragraph). Why did your character make a pact with an eldritch being, or why did they become a rogue? How has having magical powers changed their life? What do they expect to get out of their pact or their study of magic? It’s not specific to those particular character builds but I think all of this is kind of universal: if you want to play a role and improvise, you need to understand the specific, concrete motivations that would drive the character’s actions…but then the exact way in which they go about those actions and how they react to the unexpected is where the actual personality type and individuality emerges, and for that…I think you need to just let it happen.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 5 notes

Question:

What type is Gal Gadot?

Answer:

I don’t know - I don’t watch a lot of celebrity interviews, and I don’t think you can type based on acting alone so I usually don’t know actors’ types (or, let’s be honest, most celebrity types; I’m not going to meet them so unless it comes to me through something I happened to watch it’s just not a thing I bother to figure out)

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 1 notes

Another “I’m waiting for some equipment, please ask me short questions” interlude!

(Also whenever I post these the equipment often shows up immediately after so I am trying to get that to happen)

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 3 notes

Question:

Hello, Em! I was wondering if you could help me find my type. I’m still in college, so most of this will revolve around exams and such. I’m not really sure of my type other than the fact that I’m an introvert, I tend to become drained during social situations and prefer to avoid high-stimulus environments. Two of my main hobbies are sewing and running. I took up running for my dad, mostly. I hated the idea of us having nothing in common and had tried to pick some of his other interests, (1/5)

Answer:

but I couldn’t force interest in them. Of course, now that I am running, I always feel like a huge disappointment when I try to keep up. I started sewing when I was ten and became hooked by the idea that I could make whatever I wanted, although I typically follow the patterns to the letter. I think my favorite part of sewing is knowing that I made something by myself. I don’t think of myself as a very creative person but having the knowledge that I’m able to make something, (2/5)     

even if it’s not all that great, means a lot to me. I tend to be extremely hard on myself when it comes to my homework. For example, I recently got a much higher score than I had anticipated on an exam. I had spent a disproportionate amount of time studying for this exam, went over all of the practice problems multiple times, read and reread my notes, and still only expected a C. My score ended up being the highest in the class, but as soon as I got the exam back, all I could think of was (3/5)                  

           everything I did wrong. Also, I tend to be easily swayed by others’ opinions. I tried for years to pick hobbies I could share with others. I have noticed I have a habit of keeping my opinions to myself for as long as possible even about the smallest things, just to avoid upsetting others or becoming a target for teasing. I guess there is a positive side to this, though. I’m also easily encouraged. I remember the first time I got positive feedback on an essay, I was elated and somehow (4/5)            

finished the semester with an A in my least favorite subject, all because I was desperate not to let my teacher down. Most people tell me that I’m detailed, but I don’t always feel that way. When it comes to term papers, I put it off until about a month or so in advance and then will outline and draft, mostly because I struggle with losing steam when I can’t see my progress. Otherwise I become discouraged and feel like I’m running in circles. I hope that this is enough to go on, Thanks! (5/5)             

—————–

Hi anon,

All of this sounds very much like an ISFJ: You like to see your work in the real world, you tend to follow directions, and you strongly value the opinions of others and do not want to rock the boat with conflicting opinions.

For a little unsolicited advice that you are welcome to ignore, because, well, unsolicted: I find, as an Si-dom, that I also tend at times to fixate on what I did wrong. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing as long as you realize what you’re doing and cut yourself some slack for that past mistake. High Si users rely heavily on understanding what didn’t go well last time to improve things for next time, so as long as the focus is “I got this wrong, let’s learn from that” and not “I got this wrong, let’s dwell on it” it’s probably helping you. I actually found I study best by taking practice tests or doing old problem sets, seeing what I did wrong, and reviewing that specific area more carefully.

Possibly related and still more unsolicited advice I also found that I just don’t like to outline papers and I don’t do it for similar reasons - I feel like I’m not making progress. While I was a STEM major and had to write few papers, when I did, I ended up just writing a really rough draft to start without an outline, getting a sense of the outline from that, and then writing the paper.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 9 notes

Question:

What do you think Helga from Hey Arnold's MBTI/enneagram is?

Answer:

Never watched it.

I think I jokingly said once “to save time assume I have never seen anything” but it’s kind of true; I did not have cable TV as a child, I always watched a relatively lower amount of TV as a result, and now unless it’s something I actively watch currently I probably would have to go back and rewatch to type the characters and that’s just not how I prefer to spend my time.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 3 notes

scythiannomad:

It is all fun and games until the MBTI blog you used to follow becomes a K-Pop fandom blog.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 20 notes

This is wildly off topic and a general tumblr thing, not personality theory, but: I never understood people who pride themselves on asking just normal questions off anon, like I do not care either way. But I do not get people who send corrections on anon. Like, if you’re asking a question, you’re asking me for my knowledge and who you are is ultimately not the point here. But if you expect me to listen to you, then who you are and whether you’re a trustworthy source of information is extremely relevant.

(obviously, nonconstructive criticism is another category in which either way the person asking is fighting a losing battle)

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 7 notes

Question:

I hope this question is allowed. Can you choose just one self-development problem for every personality type to think about?

Answer:

mbti-notes:

ISTJ: stubbornness
ESTJ: pettiness
ISFJ: settling (for less)
ESFJ: insecurity
INTJ: extremes
ENTJ: blindspots
INTP: lack of perspective
ENTP: arrogance
ISTP: dismissiveness
ESTP: cavalier attitude
ISFP: negative self-talk
ESFP: impatience
INFJ: guilt
ENFJ: shame
INFP: romanticizing
ENFP: self-inflicted hurt

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 50 notes

Question:

Hi. How do you tell an immature/unhealthy high function apart from a low function in someone's stack? I know theoretically that one of them is being relied on more often than the other, but based on personal observation, it seems like the two result in the same unhealthy and clumsy expression, regardless of their position in the stack. Where is the concrete difference?

Answer:

There isn’t really an easy way to tell in isolation (this is also true for like…99.9% of typology and maybe 90% of asks I end up deleting). You need context: are you seeing evidence of the low function coupled with decent use of a higher function, or does everything they do seem rigid, limited, or erratic? Are you dealing with a person who overall seems somewhat stable and healthy but has some definite weak points, or are you dealing with someone who is fairly young and immature, or who seems unhealthy? Because it’s true that say, an unhealthy ISFP and a 19-year-old ESTJ will have some clear similarities in the expression of their Fi, but if the ESTJ is otherwise of average development they will have reasonably good Te and Si, whereas the ISFP will just be a whole mess in this scenario.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 9 notes

Question:

Hi, I’m sorry if this an overly stereotypical question, but it’s something I’m genuinely wondering due to certain descriptions I’ve read of Si from peoples’ perspectives, and some of what you’ve said in various posts. As in, behaviors that are or are not likely to be due to a particular type. My question is, is it likely that a Si user would be fixated on constantly gathering new experiences? Or are they able to just be content with the familiar?

Answer:

Hi anon,

It’s not a bad question! But the answer is pretty vague, namely, it depends. Most high Si users aren’t fixated on gathering new experiences all the time as it’s somewhat draining for us, but healthy high Si users are open to new experiences and recognize that expanding familiarity requires unfamiliarity to start. So most normal high Si users fall somewhere in between. Someone constantly looking for new experiences is probably a high Se or Ne user, and someone who never does so is probably a fairly immature high Si or Ni user.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 2 notes

Question:

Hi Em, what function would be responsible for someone who heavily introspects in time of stress? i.e they're usually interested in topics such as personality study/astrology/self improvement but don't put too much weight on it during their everyday life - yet, when they fall into a stressful situation, they fall deeper into these topics to try and find an 'answer' as to why they're acting the way they are. In other words they use introspection as an escape when they normally wouldn't consider it

Answer:

This seems like a fairly normal stress response; a large number of personal epiphanies, when retold to others, seem to have come as the result of introspection during or immediately following a stressful situation.

In general I do not recommend typing on stress behaviors unless you are specifically trying to narrow down an already quite narrow set of options. Stress responses are both universal and highly varied even within a single person - the nature of the stress, any past experiences, the coping mechanisms available to them, and so forth will all be much more important in shaping their response than typology, and even if you were to look at stress responses solely through the lens of typology, between MBTI and enneagram there are 3 distinct stress responses (looping, gripping, and disintegration) plus the possibility of general unhealth that doesn’t fit neatly into one of those responses.

If you’re trying to type yourself please feel free to look through the FAQ, especially anatomy of an ask, and ask again with relevant information; if you’re trying to narrow down a narrow set of options, what those options are and how you arrived at them would be important context as would a more detailed and concrete explanation of the stress and the response.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 3 notes

Question:

I just wanted to thank you for introducing me to Ask A Manager - I've only ever worked in academia and am unfamiliar with "normal" job norms, so reading her column has been really educational!

Answer:

Glad you like it! To be fair some of the norms there are super conservative even for more traditional environments - no one has ever given me issue for having wet hair at work, for example, nor have I ever worn a suit to an interview. But it’s usually solid, sane advice.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 7 notes

Question:

Hi I hope this isn't too personal but: do you relate to the emotions described in type 1 descriptions? like do you actually feel angry a lot or notice yourself trying to repress anger? or do you think these descriptions are poorly phrased or exaggerated? do you feel tense a lot? because that seems like it would go along with anger. hope this made sense

Answer:

Hi anon, it would be extremely helpful to understand if your goal here is to type yourself, to analyze the validity of a description, or if you’re just asking me questions about myself because my answer will differ depending on the purpose.

I find that the Enneagram institute description is fairly accurate. I don’t think I consciously think “I am repressing anger,” but rather that I have a sense of self as a reserved person who isn’t very outwardly emotional (and that’s true for pretty much all emotions for me. I’m just not that outwardly expressive as a person). I’m also probably a relatively tightly-wound person, but I have been told I don’t come off that way to others (this is in part because when I deal with other people I usually mentally schedule for a lot of flexibility, if that makes sense?) I think I get actually angry a normal amount for people, which is to say, not a whole lot, but I get irritated pretty easily and I am not a particularly forgiving person on those occasions when I have gotten angry at someone. (if you were to look at the enneagram institute levels, I’m probably around level 4 or 5 overall).

 The 1 descriptions that I find more valuable are those about the fear of being corrupt or hypocritical, about being hard on yourself and having strong perfectionist tendencies, and about being frustrated by unrealized opportunities for improvement.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 4 notes

Question:

Which MBTI type do you think cares most about physical appearance?

Answer:

Se-doms, but I’d also look at enneagram 3.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 4 notes

Question:

I can't provide context for personal reasons but it's been quite close to being a whole new idea of what I'd like to do with my life. i.e. if something didn't go my way them i start thinking of a whole new plan or idea which I'd like to follow for the next couple of years almost like setting new goals for me to reach - but it never takes an active form and always stays in the planning stage so if I say I'll do it then it's something I say I'll do and not do (until I come to my senses and-

Answer:

-realise it’s a bad idea). e.g didn’t get the grades I wanted to for a career path or a job I saw myself doing in the future and due to this reality (out of hurt, anger directed at myself for not doing better and just general disappointment with the magnitude of the current situation and how it has a negative ripple effect on my future) I think of something completely different to strive for out of anger and plan the whole thing through out of haste in a short (not well thought out) time period-

           -just to prove to myself I have it together and I’m on top of it. Even though I tell my close friends about this new and shiny plan, they know as well as I that it’s only an idea and something I won’t follow through on because I’m responsible and they know I’m being childish because I’m upset. They end up being right and I get back on track, find a new route which will help me achieve the initial long term plan I had before the bad grades and after that I calm down and everything is fine. This-                        

-has only happened twice in my life where I get so blind to the reality in front of me that even if there’s evidence that my idea is a bad idea - I’ll still want to go through with it until I snap out of it (usually within a couple of days) and wonder how my everyday (almost idealistic/dreamer) outlook got so immature in that moment. None of this is a real problem though, it’s just something I’m aware of and working on but grounding myself in the real world is a challenge. I don’t really-            

           -consider reality when making a decision and expect that it will work out my way because I will find a way to make it happen. I do have a handle on this and was wondering if this was related to being an inferior intuitive function or unhealthy dom/aux use (in that moment) due to it being “all talk”             

————————–

Hi anon,

I would still not type based on this - something that happened twice in your life is something to perhaps keep in mind while typing, but not something on which to serve as a major source of information while doing so. However, it is at least consistent with Ne grip behaviors, so if you are already strongly considering high Si this would be one data point in its favor.

ic_web Created with Sketch. ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is
ic_visibility Created with Sketch. 1 notes