there is nothing kind or altruistic about 2s. anything caring in a 2 comes from a place of arrogance (”you are weak and i’m stronger than you”, explaining 2->8 and why pride is 2′s attributed cardinal sin) and is used as means to control others.
This is going to be a super niche post, but during my years of drawing classes I noticed that the mbti types have common struggles when it comes to drawing from life based on their perceiving function. So I’ve had this idea in the back of my head for awhile and finally wrote it all down. warning its p long
ok so as a 4w3 (416) sx/so, is there any way i can stop... scaring people with how intense i am?? bc for some reason i am completely self aware (to the point ive dissociated for analyzing myself too much) and i hate feeling like i... bother people. i hate being my passionated self and i dont quite know what to do with it.
people are not scared off by intensity but by other traits that make shame-cores annoying; being self-absorbed and (almost) narcissistic, shameless fishing for compliments, ridiculous exaggerations during story-telling, et cetera
how to stop: make an effort. listen to what others have to say and not make it about you.
“It’s like being with a crowd of people but never really existing. Each time people talk to me, I felt this strange urge to cry and I told myself that I don’t really wanna be here. I don’t feel like I… belong, you know? Reality sucks, and because living forces a lot of people into my life, I’m doubting if it’s really a great thing to be alive after all…”
I’m not saying that all INFJs suffered from social anxiety because obviously, every types has their own darkside that they refused to show at first place.
Many other types, not just the Feelers could also have the tendency to feel left out or being social misfits wherever they go especially the XNTPs and XNTJs.*
But being an INFJ myself, I’m starting to wonder if social anxiety actually has a thing to do with my prolong existential crisis that exists in my head 24/7 that dreaded me to get out of the crowd.
Here’s what I felt about being socially awkward and being a true misfit:
We felt different from a very young age. It’s like we could fit in nowhere because nobody seems to get us and accept us for who we are.
And since we’re old souls, it is a real struggle to slide our way into the peer group and talk about random shit cuz we just couldn’t tolerate with all the crap going on like sorry not sorry. Grandma only talks philosophy.
We love talking about deep, unconventional stuffs that other people might find weird for us to talk about. Sometimes we scare people off because of our “inner geniusness”.
It comes out naturally for INFJ to be tongue tied when people ask us random, personal questions like “It’s been a while since we catch up with each other. How are you?” because we know that there’s nothing fine going on over here and we wanted to tell them everything we felt deep down but we fear of being judged so in the end we keep it all inside, letting our own thoughts churning ourself up.
Sometimes, we tend to overshare and make some simple questions into a whole labyrinth because we just couldn’t help it. It happens, alright. One time my friend asked me “So you like Coldplay? I saw you talking about it the other day,” and we be like “DO YOU THINK MUSICS REPRESENTS PEOPLE’S PERSONALITY AND HOW THEIR SOUL CONNECTED TO THEM IS LIKE THE BEAT THAT’S KEEP ON PUMPING INSIDE US, KEEPING US ALIVE?”
And because we are true introverts, we deal with a lot of time opening up and letting our guards down but once we open up, (in which only certain people whom we really trust could crack us open through stages) we’ll be the most chatty person on earth you wish we could just stfu.
So why do we keep our voices to ourself? You see, we’ve been betrayed and hurted WAY TOO MANY TIMES so what we do is just an act of self protection. We don’t want any unneccesary people inside our life. Well, not anymore.
Because socializing is draining our energies the hell out. Since we’re empaths, we often find ourself investing our energy on other people more than we could invest it to ourself. So when we find out that we’ve been giving too much but the person never actually reciprocate, believe me, that’s when shit got real.
Doorslam! Though this would be our last resort, surprisingly, we have thought about it even before we started interacting with you. Whether it’s worth our time socializing with you or not, or we could just carry on with our next procedure.
Honestly, we are thick. We don’t take things personally unless it really matters. And that’s when people got us wrong. We can also be fragile. Just like what I said before, we’re just protecting ourself. Nothing wrong with that, am I right?
We felt like we’re the most unheard of. People often neglect when we talk and often times they’re something serious. So when we see that people keeps on treating us as though we didn’t exist, then maybe it’s better we didn’t exist to them AT ALL.
We’re a mixture of overwhelmed feelings and branched thoughts which is when summed up, created us into very complex individuals. Sometimes, we don’t even understand what’s going on inside our heads so we need our alone time to think and sort everything.
We’re naturally good at communicating but I personally think that INFJs are best at pouring their thoughts and ideas on papers and pens. Sometimes we communicate through notes because its more romantic that way and we get to deliver our thoughts more effectively *winks*
We are taken. For granted. Like seriously. A lot of times.
We just wanna be alone to recharge, okay? Please understand that. We’ll be back as soon as we felt good again.
We are vulnerable saviors to the vulnerables.
Shoo. Haha I’m just kidding. I need you to stay. I’m just, you know, healing atm.
I guess that’s pretty much it(?)
Please let me know about your thoughts and struggles🖤 I’m glad to hear more from other types as well!
Sending my love to all of those who are feeling lonely out there. You are loved more than you know ♥️
*This is in accord to my own observations and has nothing to do with any concrete findings.
heya, ISTJ opinion here: please go outside and get some oxygen
spsx and sosp seem to have similar priorities. what's the difference between the sx need to connect and the so need for connections? two of my friends seem to have similar behaviour but i am aware their motives for doing so are starkly different. what observable differences between these two contraflows will allow an observer to understand the differences (apart from visual typing, i'm referring to behaviour) or can this only be found out by asking them abt their reasons for doing so?
no. spsx and sosp have extremely different priorities. being both contraflow they just both frequently fail to balance their second with their first instinct. but that’s already where the similarities end.
so/sp reaches out, sp/sx builds a fence
so/sp wants to share happy feelings with their friend group, sp/sx will keep them them secret to their own
so/sp invites people to their homes, sp/sx has a “fuck off” doormat
the sx’s need to connect is entirely different from a soc’s need to connect and even if it weren’t, in an sp/sx only comes out so rarely that you basically never see it anyway.
Are both of these examples of Si at work? 1. Last time, I added 1.5 quarts of chicken stock to the soup and it turned out perfect so from now on I'm going to add 1.5 quarts every time I make this because I think this works best. 2. Last time I got sick, my cat died. So now if I get sick again, another one of my cats will die
D'you know any 469 characters? If so, any that are not INFx or female? Whenever trying to find some other 469s, it's always female INFx, female INFx, female INFx. (I'm a male ISFJ/SEI 469 BTW)
no sorry, i usually don’t tritype characters.
with fiction but also with celebrities you either have no possibility of getting to know them enough or (with long ongoing series) you get into inconsistent writing territory.
so while you definitely can type snippets like “this character is ExxJ sp-dom for sure” or “oh wow this was totally a 7-fix-move” but full typings? full mbti type, instincts + tritype? impossible. you would have to rely too much on guesswork
i feel useless if i haven't completed any tasks in the day and feel irritable if i go more than a day without walking outside or moving about (not sports, just something that involves being out of the house). if i end up being lazy and go even one day without finishing something or doing something, i end up in a slump which takes me weeks to get out of and i feel like a lazy piece of crap with no motivation when i'm in the middle of it. is this dom Te or Se?
(usually 1-fix-related or 7->1 disintegration) guilt, stemming from being brainwashed by capitalism about not being allowed to be “lazy”, and so when you “slip” and fail to meet society’s standards for just a day your anxiety eats you up and pushes you into a depressive episode because “your perfect score of being a honorable productive citizen is ruined anyway so there is no use of trying anymore”
Can SO/SPs be extremely private and prefer being alone over being with other people constantly? I think I’m an SO/SP but I’m not particularly unhealthy or in a bad state of my life, I’ve just always been very reluctant to share things with people and always liked being alone more than interacting with others
hot take: ENFPs being like “honorary introverts” or “introverts in a non-MBTI sense” is a joke that just stems from ENFPs having zero self-awareness and relating to every description on earth because they are
thinking in terms of exceptions not generalities. ENFPs confidently tell you “oh i’m super private and love being alone” and still spend 6 out of 7 days in a week doing extrovert stuff and think that this one day of not running around somehow counts as preferring alone-time. spoiler: it does not, stop lying to yourself.
found this on typology cent:"Sometimes there are those few people I would like to connect deeply with and I crave being with them. It's strong, intense, and 'devouring'. I find myself bordering on obsession and I actively seek all sorts of contact with them. However, once I make progress, once a new level of intimacy has been reached,I get scared. I pull myself back, I try to run.But after I do that,the cycle starts again and I long for that deep connection once more" -- is this really sp.sx?
no, sounds more like so/sp with sx-blindspot overfocus