In the past centuries the sign of respect was lifting or touching your hat when you meet an acquaintance. Nowadays we slightly remove one earphone

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You could sneak dozens of toenails into a salt grinder without anyone knowing…

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Not a single person in the world writes “g” like this

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Dragons may be prevalent in many cultures’ legends because they found dinosaur bones.

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Smartphones could last days on a single charge if their mics and cameras weren’t recording us constantly.

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Your favorite rappers ghost writer could be a middle aged white guy with decent pay and a loving family who’s never looked at a drug in his life

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There are cameras everywhere, except where our food comes from, where our energy comes from and where our waste goes.

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The smell of death is actually the smell of bacterial life.

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If we do find a new world that could host life, the people most responsible for ruining earth will be the ones to afford to go there.

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Somewhere along the way we just accepted that everyone online is a male; unless proven otherwise

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Putting “bitch” at the beginning of a statement is way more likely to be friendly compared to putting it at the end of a statement.

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“Treat your body like a temple” is used to deter tattoos, but temples are often elaborately and ornately decorated.

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A high point in a geologist’s career is when they hit rock bottom

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Monsters INC is an allegory to society’s energy consumption. Making a child scream is an unsustainable and immoral form of energy, representing fossil fuels. Making a child laugh is a sustainable form of energy and better for society, representing renewable energy.

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Kids hate their school until another school puts it down, people hate their jobs until an outsider makes fun of their job and the human race will never work together until an outside force threatens our planet.

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Scissors can cut water; it just grows back really fast.

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Your dog is probably a flat earther.

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A Family Friendly Way of saying “Mother F**ker” is “Father.”

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Jackie Chan wasn’t an actor who did his own stunts. He was a stuntman who did his own acting.

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Rap is mostly for dudes who were ashamed to admit they were into poetry.

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