Disney: ok you can use mickey mouse, but-
Nomura: Michael is now a Flawed Warrior King with a reckless past who is not exactly forthcoming wrt to the truth. He makes critical mistakes like leaving people behind in the realm of darkness but also takes the nearest troubled teenagers under his wing at every possible opportunity. He is always trying to make up for how he’s erred but despite keeping a fairly level head is sometimes consumed with thoughts of vengeance when his friends are threatened. Also he says it’s not only okay to be gay but that the capacity for such strong love is the source of your power–
Reblogging this without the tags is doing it a disservice, TBH.
Whoever puts our coupons in our weekly ad fucked up big time because we a coupon for 99 cent eggs and if you scan it, it makes the total 875.90$. No one knows why this keeps doing this and corporate basically told us its not their problem so 🤷🏼♀️
Chris Niosi is abusive and people need to know the truth about him. My name is Amy and I am, hopefully, his last ex-girlfriend. I dated him from September 2017 to April 2019 and it was a miserable experience to say the least. I try to be an open-minded person with an even more open heart but that was a waste of effort because this man is a piece of shit and it is entirely his choice to be one.
I knew Chris Niosi for several years but I’m not going into the full history of our relationship. What matters is how he treats women behind closed doors and that he shouldn’t be able to keep getting away with it. Overall he was a shitty boyfriend but sucking at dating isn’t a crime so I’m only going to talk about the things people deserve to know about him.
1. Chris Niosi has obvious anger management problems and would snap and blow up at the smallest things. He would tell me “that’s just how I am” and that I needed to deal with it. I hated playing Smash with him because I would win most of the time and he would rage and scream at the top of his lungs. Near the end of our relationship I was fearful of his meltdowns every day.
2. He would try to manipulate me whenever I told him I had an issue with his behavior. I would tell him things like “I have to walk on eggshells around you” and he would turn it around and say “but I’M walking on eggshells around YOU” to try to make me out to be the bad guy. He always tried to avoid taking responsibility for shitty things he’s done.
3. Chris Niosi had no respect for my bodily autonomy. I have a full-time job and when I came home from work my only request was that he wouldn’t jump on me the second I walked in. All I wanted was a little time to decompress from the day and get a shower but he would grope me every single day despite my protest. I told him to please not do that many, many times. He would pout and argue and continue doing it anyway.
4. Chris Niosi lied to me, twice, about how often he was communicating with his ex-girlfriend. I never had a problem with their friendship to begin with and he told me, without any questioning on my part, that they only talked “once a month.” I eventually found out that was a bold-faced lie and he was speaking to her every single day of our entire relationship. He claimed he didn’t “realize” how often he was talking to her (who would believe such nonsense?). He was intentionally hiding this from me and also probably her. I believe she was not aware of what he was doing either.
5. I asked him to set boundaries with his ex and he battled me so much that I asked him to cut contact completely. He fought tooth and nail to keep talking to her despite how much this shit was damaging me and he even called ME the unreasonable one. She contacted him one day out of the blue, and he came to my office to take me out to lunch only to keep me hostage in front of my OFFICE BUILDING that I MUST give him my blessing to respond to her. He refused to take no as an answer and was shouting at me. I felt forced to say yes even though I truly did not want to or else he would continue making a scene in front of my workplace.
6. He complained any time I wanted some time to myself. He gets so much more free time than me and whenever I wanted some damn space he would constantly try to butt in and gripe that I’m not spending time with him. I explained to him several times that I should be allowed to have just a tiny ounce of solitude. Never listened. He was also jealous of my friends and would whine any time I wanted to hang out with them without him. According to Chris my world had to absolutely revolve around him and never deviate.
7. He once physically manhandled me in front of my friends at a get-together because I wanted to get a drink. I stood up and he forcefully pushed me back down and scolded me in full view of my friends. I was extremely embarrassed.
8. Chris Niosi made it extremely difficult for me to get to know his friends. I clicked with some of them and others I needed more time to hit things off. But that was a problem for Chris. He would argue with me every time we came home from seeing his friends that I wasn’t “trying hard enough” and not talking enough. So many, many arguments. I could not for the life of me understand why he got so upset that I didn’t meet his bizarre standards for communicating with his friends. It made every encounter with them more and more stressful to the point that I was too afraid to see them anymore. They did nothing wrong, this was entirely on him.
9. Worst of all, Chris Niosi was planning to sexually take advantage of me when I was very intoxicated on my birthday last year. He even tried to tell a friend that he had implied permission from me when confronted about it (which is absolutely not true). That only gave me confirmation he knew exactly what he was doing. Thankfully I was aware enough at the time to tell him to back off, but it disturbs me to this day that he saw me being drunk on my birthday as an “opportunity.”
Chris Niosi is a bad person and he knows it. He would tell me he was just simply oblivious to all his wrong-doings but I refuse to believe it. He doesn’t get to claim ignorance and abuse women. Everything was intentional. I decided I had enough and moved on and he tried every trick in the book to manipulate me into staying. After I broke up with him he couldn’t even respect me enough to give me distance. He was aggressive about taking me out to dinner and asked me out at least 3 times in the week after I dumped him. Chris Niosi also had the audacity to ask me to be “friends-with-benefits.” No respect. No remorse. He knew exactly what he was doing at every turn. He chooses to be an asshole, and will continue to do so until he dies. This man will never change. It’s who he is and he clearly prefers it that way.
I have absolutely no reason to make this up. None. But you don’t have to take my word for it. Just maybe consider the many words of many people when they say Chris “Kirbopher” Niosi is an abusive man who will continue to use and abuse other people. He needs to come clean about all the horrible things he has done. To those who want to give him another chance and hope to see him better himself, I sincerely wish you the best. I know I tried
Thank you for reading.
“exclusionists will leave you alone as long as you stay out of LGBT spaces”
Reblogging this again because I’m still thinking about it.
This is a perfect example of how much of a lie it is that exclusionists support ace and aro people as long as we “don’t try to infiltrate the LGBT community.” There is nothing in the original post about aspec discourse, inclusionists or exclusionists, or aspec issues at all. There just so happen to be a couple of pride pins visible in a post about the stickers I put on my desk.
And yet someone felt the need to go out of their way to make a comment about how the aro and ace pins, tearing them down.
Ace and aro “discourse” isn’t some “friendly debate,” it’s a bunch of bigoted bullies harassing people over their orientation.
It’s time to stop calling it discourse and recognize it as what it is.
There are bad apples in every community. Do you know how many exclus have been harassed into suicide by inclus? Stop generalizing, and if you’re gonna participate in discourse, then debate about the discourse, not about how one side has some bad people therefore they’re all scum.
That person is a dick, yeah, but most exclus aren’t like that. Just how most inclus aren’t suicide baiters, but some are. Stop generalizing groups.
‘most exclus aren’t like that’ YES THEY ARE
90% of the exclusionist movement is like this. actually scratch that it’s so much worse than this.
it’s not ‘a few bad apples’ this is the whole fucking barrel.
So I talked about one of the reasons (one of the big reasons) that exclusionist radfem bullshit is so prevalent on tumblr being that they bring it here on purpose, because it’s how they can get young wlw in particular to believe them without question and be their enforcers, because the young wlw who end up here are often those who are isolated in their physical face-to-face spaces.
But there’s a flipside to that coin, which is that this is also where they can get young mspec (bisexual, pansexual, etc), asexual and trans kids (usually women and trans men) to swallow it.
You walk up onto Grindr and start telling mostly-cis gay men they can’t use “butch” and “femme” in their descriptions anymore, you’re not gonna get very far. To put it mildly. The one who don’t give a shit about anything but their own comfort and perspective are just going to laugh at you, and for the most part the ones who do care (often a lot) are also well aware that these talking points are bullshit.
You walk up to BUTCH Voices saying OMG ONLY LESBIANS CAN USE BUTCH and you’re probably gonna get a less friendly Talking-To than gets handed out sometimes on THIS site.
Because when you tell a 30, 40, 50, 60 year old person with a community and a history with their sexual and gender identity “you can’t use this word you’ve been using for literal decades to describe yourself” the friendliest reaction you’re going to get is a good-faith attempt to explain, the least aggressive you’re going to get is laughter, and probably (given that just about all of us here in “hey we’re not straight and don’t conform to majority-expected gender expression and relationship composition”-land have also been spending those decades under anywhere from low-to-high-level-siege-and-attack for same) you’re going get someone telling you to Shut The Everloving Fuck Up, I Don’t Have To Take That Shit From You.
Say those same things to the nervous, newly-self-aware person (at any age, but especially in their teens or twenties?) Who just found this general place (tumblr) where The Not-Straight People Are? who are probably in the process of figuring out what the hell they even feel and are Learning What Things Mean?
When you tell THEM “you’re not allowed to use that word hdu!” they probably say “omg I’m sorry” and take the alternates you fling at them. Especially if you back it up with harassment (as a great many of these people do). Especially if you manage to generally cloak your bullshit in the language and patterns that social justice work uses ( “you’re appropriating! you’re talking over us! you should listen when we tell you about our words!”) to frame this as a privilege-disprivilege axis, rather than acts of active lateral violence from one group (monosexually attracted wlw) against another (mspec people).
Their bullshit works better here. A lot better. And that’s another dynamic that’s important to keep in mind.
They are radicalizing isolated and needy young people. The ideologies change, but the tactics remain the same, because those tactics work.
And I can’t help but notice many of these same people are actively pushing this gross lie that “every adult you speak to online is a pedophile you have to be afraid of.” How convenient that this rhetoric creates *more* isolated and lonely young people who live in terror of engaging with elders in the community who could give them access to real support and advice that isn’t about an ideological agenda.
I’m so beyond angry with these people. They’re preying on vulnerable children and stuffing their heads full of entitlement and division. They’re harming the community and they’re *harming our children,* and it’s fucking unconscionable.
This is yet another instance of sj things made for and by black women being stripped of that context and therefore made null and ridiculous. Of course it all sounds like a ‘shitty way to refer to being there for your friends’ when it’s put in the context of white/non-black people. You don’t have a constant barrage of people doing anti black shit, expecting a free education, “is this racist? Is that racist? Am I racist? Why am I racist? How can I be racist?”, having to deal with it all kindly and politely or else face isolation, missed job opportunities, etc. “ Emotional labour ” as a term was started as a way to refer to retail workers, but was then brought into the context of sj to describe the experiences I described. Using the alternative definition of a term to say that people are using the term incorrectly is asinine. And claiming that emotional labour only counts as “labour” if it is something that you are being paid for defeats the whole fucking purpose of having the term in the first place - to recognise the unpaid, overlooked, often coerced labour that oppressed people, almost entirely black women, have to engage in on a daily basis, and to break down the expectation that this work should be provided freely and for free.
The use of “labor” in emotional labor is literal. It’s talking about your actual labor. Your job. Your way of making money. It isn’t a metaphor for listening to your friends talk.
If the “emotional labor” you’re going through isn’t something your income and livelihood is dependent on, it’s not emotional labor. That term specifically exists for the way working class people especially sex workers and retail workers have to regulate and suppress their emotions and the way their livelihood is dependent on that. If you’re using that term to describe your interpersonal relationships and your friends and partners wanting emotional support, you’re obnoxiously misusing that term.