23-year-old Tumblr user: The use of X word in this post implies the existence of-

Me, who finished the second grade: No it doesn't 

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I can’t hold this in any longer but I have a huge crush on James Acaster

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helloeriiiiic:

that’s just how tops are

littleredtheboy:

‪Geralt really said “I don’t need anyone” while Jaskier was giving him a bath and washing his hair and clothes ‬lmao

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carlyraejepsen:

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s4mm4n:

It’s toast time, lads

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Familiar - Agnes Obel

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gayhex:

im losing my mind

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I just woke up from THE most realistic sex dream of my life omfg

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Question:

hewwo daddy UwU *puts hands out in front of you* may i p-please have your thicc Australian meat in my lil bootyhole, sir? I promise I won't beg for cummies for a full day :( u know i need the calcium from your penis juice to grow big and strong otherwise i will die from osteoporosis

Answer:

I just want you to know that this killed me and I HATE you but “otherwise i will die from osteoporosis” is literally the fucking FUNNIEST thing I’ve ever read in my life shsjnsjnsdosjsuhçsushtsbsßu shut the fuck

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I’m so tempted to go put my pillows in the freezer rn while I have my shower lmao. I can’t get to sleep unless them shits COLD 😤

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Question:

whyyyyyy is everything you say so fuckin hot?

Answer:

Cause I’m sexy and I fuck, next question

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Obsessed with the idea of unironically referring to cum as penis juice

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jackorowan:

Arón Piper as Ander Muñoz
in ÉLITE season 2

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nevver:

It’s spreading

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