screechingmemevoid

im not legally allowed to drink soda and no i will not elaborate

me: *experiences massive amounts of top and voice dysphoria*

me: but am i really trans

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people are always saying we should trust in god but why should we? bitch pressed cntrl+alt+delete on the first world and shipped this man off with some animals. bitch created the playtupus. can we trust him? no. you know who you can trust? Athena.

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Sunday sounds like Son Day and Jesus was a son and he was resurrected on Sunday so therefore, Sunday is named after Jesus AMEN

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you wanna know what’s fucked up? the fact that the government lied to us about carrots. the government told us that eating carrots improved our eyesight when in reality they were trying to keep some radar shit hidden from enemies like the lizards are forcing carrot propaganda down our throats

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a post on instagram said to name one famous black person and my mind automatically went to Shakira wtf is wrong with me

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sometimes i wonder if my anxiety is pranking me because once i gave a presentation and didnt feel nervous at all but today i started hyperventilating because i worried about getting pantsed in the hallway

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one time i got lost in a Wallmart and i didn’t have my glasses on so i just wandered around aimlessly looking for my dad and it took them a solid 20 minutes to find me

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me: i want my hair to be shorter

my mom: ew

me: :(

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screechingmemevoid:

SANDER SIDES SPOILERS

If you haven’t watched the new episode, DO NOT watch this video. This is simply a shitpost.

The dark side family

every once in a while this post blows up again and i am reminded of how i sinned

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do y’all ever think about whether Obama could’ve played Aaron Burr in Hamilton because i sure do

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screechingmemevoid:

my mouth hurts so much im gonna cry but thats ok because pain is more welcome than whatever the fuck is going on here in this stupid banquet where all my teammates pretend i dont fucking exist

I Am Not Having A Good Time™︎

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my mouth hurts so much im gonna cry but thats ok because pain is more welcome than whatever the fuck is going on here in this stupid banquet where all my teammates pretend i dont fucking exist

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im going to a ski lodge for a tennis banquet and on the way there i told my step-dad i feel like im gonna be murdered there and he just said

“thats how it be sometimes”

y’all, i cant with him

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sometimes im like “ugh can this bitch shut up” and then i realize that bitch is me

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the true hero is the lady at my local smoothie place who always fills up the cup to the very top no matter what you order

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my friend has so many yennies it’s ridiculous

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im re-reading my old school diary and some of the stuff i put in here are treasures (also known as my teacher’s slow descent into madness)

“Oof is beautiful, too.”

“I need a time to eat. Please give me more time to eat.”

“I have been emotionally able to relate to a Kiwi for most of my life.”

“What i appreciate about my friends is my lack thereof.”

“We are all going to die anyways, so whats the point of doing dishes?”

“I’m instead going to talk about the rap battle me and Chloee are going to have.”

“This isnt a very interesting, lengthy, or sanitary entry.”

“Mr. Sweeney, you need some better questions.” (how did this man put up with me for an entire year?)

“The only shopping I like is shopping for food because I like food.”

“I plan to be sad and miserable because of Aquaman.”

“The earth is flat and the moon is made of cheese.”

“Memes and jokes pop into my mind as fast as I can blink, leaving even faster.”

“Send help.”

“Donald Trump dies? 1000%”

“I threw that suggestion out the window and scrolled through Tumblr for at least 2 hours.”

“The strange desire to eat and cry is familiar, yet new.”

“As long as I’m in school, my mind isn’t free.”

“I went out and socialized, kinda.”

“Lions, lilies, like, love, l’bleach.”

“I say sorry to tables when I stub my toe on them.”

“I’m going to fully kick down the closet door because I want a girlfriend.”

“At least I’m gay.”

“SO MUCH FOR BEING POSITIVE, I WANNA DIE.”

“Black has never looked better uwu.”

“My abdomen is trying to kill itself and I Don’t Appreciate It.”

“‘Wow way to be vague,’ Raven replied snarkily as the group passed Ellis. ‘What did you do? Smell it?’”

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I may be an atheist but that doesn’t change the fact that i’m willing to throw hands with God himself and I am not afraid to tell him and his bitch-ass angels so.

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Peter: Mr. Stark, I made a new friend today!

Tony: cool, what’s their name?

Peter: The Devil!

Tony: *spits out his coffee* THE WHAT

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