If I ever met anyone irl who talked about mbti again I’d pretend I never heard of it just to escape
Nobody can work at 110% forever.
Nobody can work at 100% forever, either.
And you’ve gotta know that, and really, genuinely believe that, because you’ll be surrounded by outside pressures to ensure you that, yes, you can. In fact, you must. You must give more. Better. Faster. Do everything you’re already doing, but more, and faster, and better, without sacrificing anything else.
The world will try to hammer this into you and make you believe that if you can’t measure up, that you are the only failing.
The world will try to make its broken systems your responsibility. It will use your willpower as an excuse for its failings.
And at the end of the day, the only one out there who’s going to advocate for you is you. You know when you’re trying your best. You know when you’re going as hard as you can. Don’t let anyone guilt you into believing otherwise.
Legit question: why do you (and every other Te type that has an MBTI blog) tell people to not take older posts seriously because they're inaccurate but doesn't proceed to delete or update them? Is that too much work as seen by Te?
This is a good observation that I never really made before. Legit every high Te blog I’ve followed has said this a number of times I think.
I think there are actually three main reasons.
1. Yes, it is too much work. Frankly, it’s much easier for anyone reading my blog to not scroll down to two years ago than it is for me to go through posts one by one and see what I still consider accurate. I think any type could come to this conclusion though, which leads me to why I think this is a high Te phenomenon.
2. All of the other judging functions besides Te have a reason to go through the painstaking process you’re describing. Ti wants perfect accuracy, Fi wants to be considerate as a feeling function and has some “perfect accuracy” tendencies as an introverted judging function, and Fe has both lower Ti and the feeling function drive to be considerate. All of those motivation probably make going through posts for inaccuracies worthwhile in non-XXTJ’s opinions, but since XXTJs don’t have those motivations in any meaningful way, there’s no reason to go to the trouble.
3. High Te users famously kind of have a lot going on in our lives anyway and generally turn out a lot more content than most other types. So the task is more work for us and we have less time to do it. I’d put money on this being the reason that funkymbtifiction, which doesn’t have a high Te mod, also doesn’t update much, since the main mod puts out an enviable and obscene amount of content and seems to have a reasonably busy life.
This is all good and I would add that Te by its nature expects that people evaluate the information they receive based on, among other things, context, and time is part of that. Just as I wouldn’t read a science or news article from 2015 and assume all the information still applies, I wouldn’t read a blog post from 2015 and make that assumption. I’d look for more recent updates to see if there has been a change.
Regarding point 1 (and kind of point 3), that also seems like kind of a sisyphean task to me. I’m still learning new things about MBTI and enneagram and like, am I supposed to do a full review of my blog every time I learn something new? That’s not even taking into account the practical implications of broken links, the fact that reblogs of those posts often exist anyway, and the philosophical question of how much of a post has to be right for it to be worth saving.
This is how I experience Ni, and how I observed it in Ni users I know.
Listening is hard
I will often stop listening because the subject made me think about something else (something more interesting), then this new idea will lead me to another one, then another… In a few seconds, I’ll be far away in my head and will sometimes say things that’ll look totally random. I can also get enthusiastic and jump to a new subject, middle-sentence, because I got a new (better) idea to talk about (which can be annoying to other people). And having to pay attention to uninteresting things is intellectually painful because I have to make the effort to not drift away in my mind.
Thinking about everything, all the time
Our thought process is not straightforward unless we’re working on it to be that way (with Te’s help, for example, to get something done). We’re not thinking about a few things: we’re thinking about everything at once. Picture a black hole: no idea can escape; we think them all. It might seem to other people that we only have good ideas, or that we can’t have many ideas, because we’ll express only the best of them. We can’t trust an idea unless we’re sure we can’t think a better one.
How do you know you made the best choice? How can you be sure your idea is the best? You can’t. You don’t know. This can get us stuck. Sometimes, we miss opportunities by hesitating too long. We have to rely on our other functions to move, to do something. And we have to trust ourselves.
Hello, intensity, my old friend.
Ni is deep. Sometimes, a bit heavy. It makes us drawn to intellectual things, art with a great meaning, talking about what moves people (love, their interests, hard things they experienced, things that changed them…), books on various topics… I often won’t think someone is my friend if we don’t share something special. If you’re just a body to spend time with and have fun, that’s nice, but I won’t be your friend unless I’m sure I deeply know you.
Turn it off, please!
Ni is all about wisdom, blah blah… I wish I could turn my brain off sometimes. I try to, mostly through my inferior Se: eating, drinking, singing (I sing so much)… I’ll watch stupid movies to give myself a break and laugh about silly things. I often avoid so-called intelligent movies because most of them fail to both amaze me and amuse me. And I’ll almost never miss a chance at watching something creative or weird.
Ni needs to find the best ideas, or the best plans. The way to get to that is through creativity. Sometimes, the perfect way to go is an old, overused one, and it’s ok. I won’t try something for the sake of it being new if there is a less fun but more intelligent way. Most Ni-people I know are into arts or writing, or both. Personal arts and writing projects give Ni all the freedom it needs to fully bloom and it feels so nice.
Dedication and precision for the right things
If something is not interesting, I can’t go on for a long time unless I think it’s worth the effort. I also noticed, from me and also from Ni-aux users, that for a thing to be considered as done, it doesn’t have to be flawlessly done if it’s not important (chores, meaningless work…) but some other things won’t be remotely okay to us unless they are perfectly done.
I’ve been told by many people I should think about pursuing a career as a stand-up comic, but many people also don’t get my jokes at all. My INTJ friends told me that they often get taken seriously when joking, and that people can’t tell when they’re being sarcastic (so they just look like they are pretty mean or especially stupid). Both of them amaze me with how they can push the smallest thing into the most epic long-lasting joke, making fun links between things. (And watch up for self-depreciating humor from INTJs. We love that.)
I absorb information all the time. Ni collects knowledge and, later, fishes out what is useful. Sometimes, I don’t even know how I know something. I just do - because I read about it years ago or because I made links from another bit of knowledge. I’m also the kind of person to forget whole days or conversations if they were not meaningful. I often refer to my memory as impressionist. I have many blurry memories from which I keep the overall feeling and no detail.
Man was I dumb
I mentioned I have a mental split for each MBTI type of the core enneatypes which pretty much breaks into “this is very common and expected and descriptions often reinforce it” (eg: ISTPs and 5), “this is not the most common but it’s completely reasonable” (eg: INTJs and 9), and “you’re almost certainly wrong” (eg: ESTJ and 2). For those interested, here it is. I have the top 3 enneatypes for each MBTI type (4 for ESTJ because 1 and 6 were basically tied) in the “Common” column, anything that I would consider very rare and more likely to be a mistype than accurate in the “Check Your Typing” column, and anything else in the middle “Sure” column.
If you’re considering a type combination in the middle column, it actually makes a lot of sense if you’re stuck because descriptions of the MBTI and enneatype usually assume those first 3 types, but there are IxTJ 9s (for example) out there!
For a quick summary of a few general rules:
All of this is about your core, once you get to the fixes this still probably is a good model of likelihood but it’s a lot more flexible. This is basically what the trityping yourself series I did a while back was; for example, an INTJ’s head fix is much more likely to be 5 or 6 than 7, but it could definitely happen for a non-core head fix.
1s are typically stubborn, persistent, and decisive. As a result it’s generally unlikely to be seen in perceiving types across the board.
2s are almost always feelers, 5s are almost always thinkers. If you disagree, there is a strong chance you have read descriptions that oversimplify 2 to “nice and caring” or 5 to “smart and intellectual” or else you are mistyped across the thinker/feeler axis. You may also have a 2 or 5 wing to an often more reasonable 1 or 3 core (thinkers) or 4 or 6 core (feelers).
3s are pretty concerned with public image and it’s strongly correlated with high extroverted judging. As a result if extroverted judging is your inferior function, you’re probably not a 3.
4s are almost always feelers, though it’s not unheard of in ExTPs, which I can see (desire to be thought of as original and creative). However, if feeling is your last function, rule it out, and the IxTJs Fi tends to manifest as enneagram 1 instead (4 is usually a disintegration point for IxTJs). Similar to the 2 and 5 stuff, if you find your type is not typically compatible with 4, you are most likely either basing this off of a description of 4 as “the artsy one” or you are a feeler who mistyped as a thinker.
6 is possible for anyone! It is however more common in introverts than extroverts and very prevalent in the SJs in particular.
7 is very spontaneous and scattered. As a result it’s generally unlikely to be seen in judging types across the board, though some extroverted judging dominants presumably have strong enough tertiary Ne or Se to break the mold.
8 is generally much rarer in feelers (only ENFJs and ESFPs had any significant number) and in introverts.
9 is really unlikely in Te-doms, otherwise anyone can be a 9.
Hi there. As a INTJ myself I do struggle a lot with everyday life and job. We hardly fit in in this extroverted society and work life. How do other INTJs survive this? I've been told, beause i do not like smalltalk and brush people off - so they do not annoy me with their sutpid personal business and bullshit - I am considered very unfriendly. Also my honesty vs this shallow hypocrisy we are living in. Any suggestions?
We survive by getting over ourselves.
Because what I’m getting from this ask is that you view others (their “stupid personal business”) as shallow and less-than, compared to yourself. And this isn’t necessarily the case. What sounds trivial to you may not be to someone else. Who are you to brush them off like this? Small talk isn’t necessarily bullshit, but treating everyone with this attitude is incredibly unfriendly. You’re struggling not because everyone else is full of shallow hypocrisy, but because you haven’t developed the patience – or desire – to truly get to know someone other than yourself, who may have different values and priorities. Honesty is important, but if it doesn’t go hand-in-hand with kindness, it’s meaningless. Stop making honesty your priority and see how your life changes for the better.
Ok is it an INTJ thing? When having a conversation with someone to say somthing just for the shock factor or say something just purely to see their reaction. I find myself doing this a lot and I think it's so fun for some reason.
Hey Anon, that sounds kinda manipulative. Maybe don’t do that.
“Is this an INTJ thing?”
“Nah man, that’s being a dick. Don’t do that.”
Finally some quality MBTI content.
It’s basically all I do on this blog, and if this is my calling in life, so be it.
In what year we shouldn't reblog ur post?? Is 2017 safe??
you should use your brain before reblogging any post, doesn’t matter how old or new it is.
none of my posts are safe. i say stupid and biased things all the time with only a few smart gems in between. good luck telling apart which is which.
Stop typing your parents as SJs just because they want you to follow basic social and legal rules. You’re not an MBTI master, you’re an edgy teen who believes respect has to be earned.
@yokubari On a world where not treating people with basic human decency is seen as a sign that you’re a pretty shitty person.
I reblogged this to the wrong blog but my point still stands.
I am an intj myself, and I have one huge problem. I cannot cope with being treated like I’m mediocre. Can you give me any tips for solving this problem?
Don’t accept to be treated badly ever. But tame your pride down if you see it’s getting in the way of your relationships and quality of life. Sometimes people want you to change for good reasons and you should listen. Sometimes they are abusive and want to control you. The difference is hard to make, but ask yourself: Am I becoming a better person if I change this part of me? Am I just satisfying this person’s needs or wants?
How probable is it for an INTJ to make the first move? Or should I, the ENFJ?
I was sure I was making moves on my best friend (now spouse), and she later told me she was sure I was not into her. We’re not great at flirting or speaking about our feelings. Or acknowledging them. Make a move, be bold, life is short. Worst case, you’ll get your heart broken and then you’ll be free to find love with someone else. I believe in you! ENFJs are great!
Lest you think I was joking, here’s an example.
Matt Murdoch from Daredevil (Netflix). I think he’s an ISFP because he’s impulsive, makes his decisions generally from a place of what he believes is the right thing to do rather than what makes the most sense to do, will not compromise to make others happy, centers his life around his moral mission, and so on.
Tumblr I usually trust, though I definitely have my points of disagreement (funkymbtifiction; usually good but I fundamentally disagree on some of the Fi/Fe emotion-based arguments): ESFP (unofficial typing). Not unreasonable; I think his Fi is stronger than his Se but I’m not 100% positive.
Reddit: 2 votes ISTP, 2 votes INFJ, only evidence provided is for one of the INFJ arguments:“extremely concerned with justice and has a vision of how things ought to be” ah yes only the holy INFJ cares about justice and change.
INTJ forum: mostly for ISTP because ‘kind of a loner’ and individual thinking and action…one person points out that leaving a known quantity lucrative big law job for ethical reasons is kind of Fi [my note: could be Fe too for that matter, but probably not inferior Fe guiding such a massive life choice], someone else says INFP and makes the same Fi argument and points out that ISTPs care about ‘looking cool’ and Matt…doesn’t? Anyway zero evidence provided for Ne. Breakdown: self-typed NJs think he’s an ISTP except one who says ISTJ with no evidence provided and also calls Foggy ‘comic relief guy’ and Karen ‘the chick’ so that person watched it; INFP thinks he’s an INFP.
Personality cafe: mostly for ISFJ or ISTJ, no evidence. One argument for “Daredevil struck me as NF, because of how strongly he believed in what he does.” THAT’S RIGHT. ONLY NFs HAVE CONVICTIONS.
Typology central: ISTP mostly. W/r/t other characters, someone decides that ‘S types play by the rules’ (hahahahahahahahahahahahaha have you met an Se dom ever). Then we get one of the most atrocious INFJ arguments I have ever seen in my goddamn life. Evidence provided: is an idealist (not strictly associated with MBTI, though I’ll grant it’s more tied to higher feeling functions); frustrated with reality (reality often sucks, I’m an Si dom and reality frustrates the shit out of me sometimes, this is just an opinion and not evidence of any function); believes in truth and justice (uh…don’t we all); takes unorthodox paths to achieve goals in a more immediate way (ALL HUMANS CAN HAVE GOALS OH MY FUCKING GOD and using an unconventional method for more immediacy screams NP or SP); “cares more about what is happening in the outside world than in his own” (Did you mean…sensor?) , poor at planning things out (….and so you decided he was AN NI DOM, YOU MOLDY CABBAGE?), learns and grows better…from “connecting the dots” of his experience (I cannot even at this point), says he can’t be an ISTP because he’s primarily motivated by morals, which I actually do agree with because unless he’s in a multi-year Fe-grip his Ti would be like “wait this makes no fucking sense” in about 30 seconds; then says “ISTPs are primarily motivated by victory” which, not really, far more motivated by what makes sense and like, what they want at the moment.
Then the rest of the forum is like “yes, yes, indeed” and then I closed the tab because it’s really not worth getting (more) enraged at 2-year-old ignorance.
MBTI blog I don’t particularly trust: ISFJ, just kind of puts down the ISFJ description without tying it to the character so not sure where you’re going there buddy
Mongolian chicken recipe: not about this but I did have this tab open concurrently and it’s at least as accurate as Typology central
Note: If you type a character the burden of proof is not just on the traits you see in them but also why this specifically indicates the type you have assigned. “Has morals”, “has goals”, and “values truth” and “cares about people” are cannot be attributed to any one type. The reason I drag a lot of INFJ typings is because they usually rely on those non-arguments almost exclusively.
For some INFJ typings I actually respect: Asami from Legend of Korra, Liz Lemon from 30 Rock, and Amy Dunne from Gone Girl. There are actually solid arguments that rely on those characters’ future-focuses that supersede their perceptions of reality and their collective desire to be seen in a certain way by other people and in turn create a specific dynamic with those people (positive with Asami, neutral/varies with Liz, negative with Amy). Truth and caring about others barely enter into it; goals are specifically personal and symbolic, and morals are specifically external.
This may be stupid but I have no one to talk to. My mom's just found out my dad's been cheating. He lied that the affair has ended but it hasn't. I can't see my mom suffrr like this. I can't believe my dad could do such a thing because always been kind and respectful. I just turned 18. I want to help but I dont know how. I feel angry at my dad... I've been snapping at him and I cant control my rage. Why do people cheat? How can I be there for my mom. Im infj.
Why do you call your concerns “stupid”? It’s a harmful habit to denigrate yourself like that. Do you not deserve to have your concerns heard?
To be successful at navigating relationships, you have to be able to draw appropriate emotional boundaries. His cheating is a problem of his relationship with your mother, it is for the two of them to sort out. Of course, it impacts you, but the cheating itself has nothing to do with you. People cheat for a variety of possible reasons, but you’re not the one cheating, so it’s not for you to figure out unless you are trying to empathize and understand him. He’s the one who is making the mistake and he is the one to answer for it. It’s never right to break a promise, but there might be situations in which it’s understandable to break a promise, or there might be situations in which it’s unavoidable. The point is that you don’t know because it’s their private marital business.
Perhaps you don’t feel as though you can “resolve” this situation because he’s not admitting fault and stopping his hurtful behavior, perhaps you feel as though he has betrayed his duty to his family (which includes you), perhaps you feel resentful because he seems unapologetic. People are flawed, they make mistakes, they do dumb things when they don’t think it through properly, they are driven by emotional baggage, they get hung up on the past. This is true of your dad, it’s true of your mom, and it’s true of you. If you can’t accept these facts about people, you’re going to spend a lifetime feeling frustrated, judgmental, angry, bitter, or cynical. And your happiness will always be out of reach because you’ll always be waiting on other people to be perfect in admitting their flaws and saying sorry to you. Life is too short to do that to yourself.
You should learn to forgive because you love yourself too much to be bogged down by other people’s bullshit. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone or forget about wrongdoing, rather, it means you understand that perfection doesn’t exist in life, so you must exercise graceful acceptance when confronted with realities that you can’t change, especially when your own well-being is on the line. Further, when you approach people with the attitude of graceful acceptance of their humanity, you’ll often find them more willing to communicate about a problem and then you can resolve it together. Does your dad care about you? If so, he should have an interest in your concerns, and concerns are best addressed through proper communication.
Your feelings are hurt and that’s understandable. Nothing wrong with feeling hurt, but you turn ugly when you indulge it and allow it to fester into rage - you can’t blame others for your choice to indulge ugliness. If you believe that your father is irredeemable at this point, cut off the relationship rather than carrying around anger that only hurts you and destroys your spirit. Is it really worth it to hurt him with your anger when it also hurts you and turns you into your worst self? Love yourself better than that. If you believe that the love between you and your father is real and redeemable, then talk to him about your feelings, express to him how his cheating makes you feel, see what his response is, and go from there. People oftentimes don’t realize the impact that their actions really have on others because they’re able to deceive themselves and come up with rationalizations for bad behavior, which is why communication is very important in providing reality checks. Huffing and puffing at him is not going to resolve the problem. You don’t understand why he cheated? Then ask him for an honest answer. If you worry about your mom, then talk to her and listen, be a friend. Maybe she would benefit from talking to a therapist, a neutral third-party who can help her get better perspective.
If you want to understand adult problems (and even adults don’t always understand adult problems), you have to start asking adult questions, communicating with the maturity and honesty of an adult, and approaching your emotions and the emotions of others with the patience and understanding of an adult. Growing up is a learning process and navigating your relationship with your mom and dad is an integral part of that process. The home is a training ground in that it teaches you how to deal with people in the outside world, so it’s worth it to learn from your mistakes there. I’ve witnessed 40-year-olds have panic attacks at the thought of expressing their feelings to their parents because they never resolved their past issues. An important turning point in growing up is the simple realization that your parents are human, and they need care just as much as you do, and sometimes you have to give rather than take or you have to be the strong one when everyone else is falling apart. That’s the joy and the pain of being a member of a family.