INTP, peeking out of my room: what’s your GPA?
ESFP: what’s your real question?
INTP: am I being too hard on myself?
Is there a way to become more dominant or is this just something that you are naturally born with? From your blog, you seem to have a dominant/authoritative aura about you, which is a quality I would like to possess.
Yes, there’s a way. Focus less on being dominant and focus more on being competent, confident, and calm. If you focus solely on being dominant without those three traits, you’ll come off as an insecure joke because the chest-thumping loudmouth with nothing to back his words is easily dismissed. Focus more on those three traits and you’ll become dominant (definition of dominant: to have power and influence over others) by virtue of bringing value to your interactions with other people.
On competence and confidence: learn, try, fail, and repeat to master concepts, theories, and skills. Confidence is a byproduct of competence which is a result of mastery or the pursuit of mastery in different areas of life through hard work, repetition, and dedication. Competence starts with the courage to try, the focus to continue, and the perseverance to finish. Learn to be great at something and have trust in yourself that your body of knowledge is valid even if it’s imperfect and incomplete.
I’m excellent at business strategy, I manage a global portfolio of engagements for a near trillion dollar organization that’s often hailed as the Harvard of technology, and I work with shockingly brilliant people in a company that has a stratospheric hiring bar but I don’t know everything about business and there are colleagues who are far better than me in many different areas. Even so, I still bring value to meetings, projects, and problems because I still speak up, I still listen, and I still learn so that I can contribute a piece of the solution even if I don’t have all the answers. You will never know everything and you will never definitively be better than everyone else in the world in a particular skill, but you can still contribute just as you are. Focus on value creation.
On calm, think before you speak, mind your emotions, and be aware of the aura that you carry into the room. By this I mean, be very aware of your energy (frantic vs calm) and its effect on other people around you. Don’t try to emotionally bait or trigger people with theatrics, instead, focus on structure and solutions. Soothe, don’t startle. This will embed two things in their minds: 1) you show maturity and poise beyond your years and 2) your presence makes things better, not worse, which incentivizes them to invite you back more often.
Exercise those skills and you’ll naturally move up in systems into positions of power where you’ll gain respect and inherit more power to influence the world around you.
Better idea: handcuffs
Cognitive Functions and their Paradoxes
“I don’t like to see others sad”
“I want my feelings to be taken care of first”
“I need to help everybody”
“I hate everybody”
“I understand everything so much better than others”
“It is not humanly possible to reach a state of complete knowledge”
“I want to meet goals quickly”
“My impatience makes me miss out important details, which slows down progress”
“I know the truth of everything”
“My mind is so abstract that I can’t pin down what I’m thinking”
“I have a million possible ideas”
“But I have a hard time deciding which one is better than the rest”
“I need to remember every little detail to feel safe”
“Because I know all the minute angles of a situation by heart, I can perceive a million ways things can go wrong and I feel very unsafe”
“I’m one with my surroundings”
“I can be so reckless that I keep making physical accidents”
I think most of these are true of everyone but not listening is the biggest deal-breaker for me. Especially since I can go for a long time without speaking, when I do speak, it’s probably interesting because I’ve taken the time to craft a thoughtful story/response.
It gets really discouraging because we spend so much time listening to others, evaluating what they’re saying, putting thought into the topic, etc… Even though we often aren’t necessarily interested in the topic. But then we try to talk about something that we’re interested in, and you can just see the boredom and unresponsiveness growing. It hurts but I’ve gotten to the point of either trailing off and saying “never mind this isn’t important” or “you don’t have to actually listen, I just wanna talk.”
MBTI: Even the…
INFJ: Even the kind, have limits.
ENFJ: Even the leader can lose hope.
ISFJ: Even the empathetic can stop caring.
ESFJ: Even the great can fall.
ISTJ: Even the dedicated can become tired.
ESTJ: Even the doer can lose their way.
INTJ: Even the logical has a heart.
ENTJ: Even the General can be vulnerable.
INFP: Even the faithful can lose faith.
ENFP: Even the happiest can be sad.
INTP: Even the analytical has emotions.
ISTP: Even the brave have fears.
ESTP: Even the confident can have doubt.
ISFP: Even the abstract can lose sight.
ESFP: Even the cheerful can become somber.
ENTP: Even the fighter can drop the sword.
Please do not copy without giving credit! This took a lot of research and time. Thank you!
Don’t… don’t call me out like that