INFP: You need to learn to make decisions to be an adult!
INTP: That’s what dice are for!
(Or ‘More unexpected talents of the ISTJ’)
INFJ: Okay, I’m supposed to act like I’m begging for my girlfriend to stay.
ISTJ: Yes, act like you’re begging HARD.
ISFP: Grab her hand! Grab her!
ISTJ: INFJ you need to be more expressive! Go down on your knees and be like ‘WHYYYY?!’
ISTJ: ‘WHY’ TO THE LEFT!
ISTJ: ‘WHY’ TO THE RIGHT!
ISFP: ISTJ you’re the real main lead.
INFP: I am supposed to let out INTJ’s dogs and I have a key but the screen doors are locked nooooo…
ENTP: Well you could ruin the screen door but idk if INTJ would appreciate that
INTJ: Oh, no … Well, I wouldn’t care too much if you broke the handle.
INFP: *is too weak to break the handle* WHYYYYYYYYYYY
INFJ: “LOOKIT. I EAT YOUR JOY.”
INTJ: “QUIT EATING THAT.”
INFJ: “LOVE THE CRONCH”
INTJ: “As if my joy had a cronch. It’s weak like a pear.”
INFJ: “LOVE THE CRONCH. The cronch is your hopes and dreams”
INTJ: “Aww. I was relying on those. Guess it’s on to plan b.”
INFJ: “sell your body under a bridge?”
INTJ: “Meth under a bridge till I die. I can factor in the selling my body though.”
INFJ: “doing meth or making meth?”
INTJ: “Wow someone’s got a high view of me.”
ENFJ: *looks up from breakfast* Is a donut without icing a bagel? Is a bagel with icing a donut?
INTJ: Don’t know. Don’t care.
ENFP: *stands on top of table across from them, raising the complimentary bread basket* YOU, PEASANT, HAVE OFFENDED MY BAGEL WITH YOUR HURTFUL COMMENTS AND MUST PAY HOMAGE TO MY ALL POWERFUL ONION BAGWEETTEES.
INTJ: It’s baguettes, you idiot.
ENFP: *throws a penetrating gaze at INTJ*
ENFP: how dare you insult my smart and edumacated self with your puny words! *tosses a loaf of bread at INTJ’s head*
INTJ: *the bread lands in his cereal and splashes his shirt *slowly looks up with fury scrawled all over his face*
ENFP: *slowly sits back down, cautiously sets the rest of the bread on the table and smiles sweetly*
ENFJ: *laughs quietly and continues eating*
ENFP: *walking out of a concert*
ENFP: *looks at the night sky contemplating life*
ENFP: *after a few seconds he opens his mouth and starts to say something*
ENFP: What if all the birds in the world threw up at once? Does that make anyone with their mouths open at the time like baby birds when the mother bird regurgitates her food into their mouths?
INTJ : *turns around* What, the he— How do you even…
ENFJ: That is absolutely disgusting.
ISTJ - *laughs and just continues walking* I love the way his mind works.
Random Passerby: *gives concerned looks*
INFP: So I was wondering, why do some people have such high-pitched voices? Is it because their voice boxes aren’t properly developed?
INTP: I don’t know, but I think that it was due to the cartoons they watched as children. You know how some people watch Sesame Street? Yeah well maybe they tried to imitate Elmo’s annoying-as-fuck voice and ended up speaking like that, I don’t know.
INFP: WAIT, BY THAT LOGIC - CARTOONS BRAINWASH CHILDREN.
INTP: Woah we are geniuses. *falls off of bed*
INFP: Yeah, right. *laughs*
INFP: ESTJ is such a tidy person, I wish I could be like her…
INTJ: Tidiness is useless
INFP: …no actually–
INTJ: I find order in my disorder
INFP: Same, bUT–
INTJ: Everything is perfect inside my head, I don’t care about my surroundings
INFP: but can you even sEE THE FLOOR IN YOUR ROOM? BECAUSE LAST TIME I CAME OVER–
INTJ: SHUT UP WOMAN, I’M RIGHT
INTJ, walking into the house: Ok ENFP, before adopting a dog we need to learn everything about how to take care of one, so I bought a few books that could help us. I don’t know if it’s enough to actually learn everything perfectly, but–
ENFP, sitting in the living room with a dog: I JUST GOT US A PUPPY LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS, SHE’S OUR DAUGHTER NOW
INTJ: I can’t stand you