and when they finally get called out on their lies, instead of just confessing that they made it all up they glance over at another, older vampire who’s known for being a serious history buff, who can’t resist the opportunity to be a little shit and has to force themselves not to laugh as they say “no, that’s actually what really happened”
the funniest part? the vampire in question knows that a 5000 year old vampire is physically indistinguishable from a 50 year old one. and they’re counting on this, because they weren’t even born for most of the historical events they described.
human: wait, you’re fucking lying, that never happened, there’s multiple eyewitness accounts and none of them mention dragons
human: how long have you been lying to me?
human: *voice cracking* how long, vlad?
i see both the takes “a vampire who pedantically corrects people’s accounts of historical events because they were actually there to witness what happened” and “a vampire who can’t even remember the previous day, let alone the last 2000 years” and raise you: a vampire with no long-term memory who really loves to fuck with people by telling them 100% inaccurate made-up historical “facts” and seeing how long it takes them to notice