It was a Sunday.
Not that it mattered to Danger cat, though. He was a cat, after all, and cats do not care much for the names of the days of the week. They care for their bowls, mostly, and coincidentally, his was empty right now. He knew Lux was still a long way from waking up, it was a simple fact backed up by evidence in a shape of clothes being thrown all over the floor and snoring coming from her bedroom.
That’s my cue, Danger thought to himself, and waddled over to the half closed doors. Sneaking into the room he observed curiously as microscopic flakes of dust floated and sparkled in the morning light. Something primal inside him stirred and urged him to jump right in there and flail around wildly until he suffocated them all. But, as it were, Danger was a civilized cat, a crime-fighting one, at that, so he shifted his attention to the only other seemingly moving object present.
Not Lux. Lux slept like a sledgehammer. She was there, and then that was it. To expect a movement would be insanity, and the breathing function seemed temporarily disconnected.
What sparked Danger’s interest was a guest star in their apartment. Silently and very cat-like (as was appropriate and expected of a cat) he jumped on the edge of the bed and stretched out his neck to get a better view. Sniffing around, he discovered that he was currently in the general area of the stranger’s feet ; would he have had the good sense to remember the look before you sniff rule, he could have avoided the corrosive smell of stale cheese overtaking his nostrils.
Well, enough was enough. Once he finished trying to practically peel the smell of his nose with his paws, Danger sneakily embarked on a journey of travelling down the newcomers length to his head.
Damn you and your tall ass boy toys, he thought grumpily. Finally reaching the area where damage is most easily done, Danger then did his thing. His lethal manuever that never failed to work.
He sat on his face.
The rest was history, really. When the victim of the day started flailing around wildly and kicking the blanket off their feet, he would most elegantly jump off, strut to the kitchen counter, position himself next to the coffee maker machine, and wait.
After a muffled »OWWW« behind the curtain, there was real time action. Limping and hurriedly picking up what he assumed were his pieces of clothing, the previously snoring stranger came crashing out out of the bedroom. Behind him, Lux’s body rose in what an oblivious watcher might call a cloud of doom and rotten nightmares. Maybe that’s just what it was, because to disturb her sleep basically was signing yourself up for a lifetime of pain and suffering.
That’s why Danger let the others do the waking up. Mostly, you only need to bring people to the edge of the cliff, he observed. Gravity and a lack of balance do the rest.
Lux approached the counter and hastily tried to find a mug that didn’t have a small civilization growing in it. Danger offered a smug cat expression to salute this hopeless attempt. Unfortunately, Lux was no longer half blind from recent awakening.
»You better not be responsible for this.«
»Innocent doesn’t suit you. He said he ‘dreamt about drowning in cotton candy’. Now, why do you think this motive is so repetitive with my visitors?«
Turning the coffee maker on, she took a look at his bowl. Being the owner of this sneaky fluff ball sidekick, she knew there was really only one reason why he’d bother. Okay, two reasons, but she didn’t see a villain destroying a city in her immediate vicinity so that surely wasn’t it. Sighing, she reached for the cat food in the top cupboard, and then remebered something. She walked over to the fishbowl where Zep the goldfish resided, reached in, took the key from under the Hogwarts castle, and walked back. Still sleepy and therefore slightly more wicked than usual, she wiped her hands on Danger’s tail and then proceeded to unlock the cupboard.
It should be stated here, once and for all, that Danger cat avoided water like the medieval folks avoided the bath.
»That’s for the scare, fatso.«
Ignoring the look that promised her a slow and painful death by her very own trusty sidekick, she grabbed a mug, and basically sleep-walked back to the room. The doors slammed shut with a loud BANG while Danger trotted down the counter to his bowl.
Splendid, he thought to himself. It wasn’t even 10 o'clock and he’d already done his daily quota of mischief.