my dog: *Loudly licks her asshole for fifteen minutes*
The joys of dogs: I cancelled my therapy appointment this morning, claiming I’m sick… Because the truth is our dog got into my room last night and possibly ate some unknown amount of cat poop, and “I’m sick” sounds much nicer than “I’m afraid of what might come out of the dog.”
The dog is fine so far, by the way.
So I know outside cats eat birds and small animals. I wasn’t aware dogs did. I spent what felt like twenty minutes trying to convince my thirteen-pound chihuahua to drop a dead bird he brought on the porch. I thought it was a piece of wood until I saw it had feathers and, you know, a face! Not wood. He was so proud of himself and tried to give me his bird. I might’ve ran in the house. I don’t like dead things. It’s still on the porch because I can’t deal with the idea of touching it.
I love how Buster is SO cautious about treats, like he’ll sniff them super thoroughly and then open his mouth just a tiny bit for me to insert the treat to make sure they’re to his taste and that he’s not being conned into eating something GROSS like a blueberry. This is of course the same dog who will scarf down horse manure or cat shit with such fervor that you’d swear he was close to starving to death.
I’m house sitting a house with 2 dogs. The one runs away and bit someone last week,and has never been trained so can’t even sit on command, never mind walk nicely on a lead (& of course I have to walk them every day). They both bark incessantly and the whole house smells like them and it makes me feel unclean and itchy :( :(
my doggy so smol i can and often do pick her up with one arm and hoist her onto my shoulder.
she has murder breath and she smiles in her sleep.
she threw up a rubbery thing the size of a golf ball today and it bounced. i was so overcome by concern and curiosity i cleaned off the thing and examined it.
it came down to a sniff check, and the results were undeniable: himalayan yak cheese, rehydrated in a dog-belly.
i gave it back, and this time she chewed it properly.